Forgetting the Past
by bendingwind
Summary: Kel is quite literally dragged into hiding by Dom and Neal when King Jonathan sentences her to a death on Traitor's Hill for daring to disobey a direct command. She must create a life she's never known anything about, in a land she's never even seen. AU.
1. Leaving

**Forgetting the Past**

Chapter 1

* * *

"Domitan, Nealan, I am _not_ going with you. I did what was right; I will accept the consequences."

"_Traitor's Hill,_ Kel! They're sending you to _Traitor's Hill_. Do you know what they _do_ to people there?"

"I am well aware of what is done on Traitor's Hill, Neal."

"Fine then. We'll stay here and die with you."

"You were always terrible at bluffing, meathead."

"_Kel!_ You _have_ to go with us! You can't stay here to _die_."

"For the last time, Dom, I am _not_ leaving. I will not be a traitor twice over. How many more times are you going to make me tell you that?"

Blue eyes hardened.

"No more. Neal."

The air shimmered green, and Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan collapsed.

"Go saddle our horses. I'll take care of her."

"Hurry. Wyldon will be finished with the letter soon, and he'll have soldiers after us faster than you can wink."

* * *

Dom looked back only once as they left, sorry for the friends, family, and life he would never see again.

Neal looked back several times, furiously wiping at his eyes as he thought of the love he was leaving behind.

Kel, had she been able, would have looked back and hidden tears at losing the life she had worked so hard to create.

* * *

**This is actually a rewrite of the shorter, much worse first chapter :) That should explain why the next chapter is suddenly written so poorly. (Not that this one's great. Alas.)**

**Annmarie**


	2. You Are So Dead

**Forgetting the Past**

Chapter 2

* * *

"_Where is she?"_

_  
"We… we don't know, milord. She was gone when her servant boy came to wake her this morning. Someone must have warned her. All her clothes are still here, and her sparrows, but her horse and all of her weapons and supplies are gone."_

"_Why was I not informed of this before?"_

"_Her… the boy… covered for her. He didn't come to tell me until this afternoon."_

"_Have him beaten. I will have search parties sent out right away. If need be, we will search by moonlight."_

_The man stomped from the room, the commoner scurrying behind him._

* * *

Kel awoke to find herself in a small, hastily erected tent, wearing the same breeches and shirt she had worn the day before. Were they taking her to Traitor's Hill? Why wasn't she bound? She blinked sleep from her eyes, frowning at the stack of clothes that swam into view. She reached for them, wincing as her head throbbed. _Maybe I drank too much ale… I don't think I drank _any _ale, but…_

She lifted the topmost article of clothing to reveal a simple farmwoman's shift. Frowning more, she unfolded the rest of the clothes until she had a complete set of clothes, suited to a middle-income farmer's wife. Briefly, she considered simply leaving them and wearing her current clothes, but sleep had badly wrinkled them and the clean clothes would feel good. Sighing, she quickly changed.

She emerged from the tent, expecting to find herself amid a campful of soldiers escorting her back to Corus. Instead, there were only two equally small tents, six horses, and a small, smokeless fire over which Dom was cooking breakfast. Memory of the previous night – the fight, her refusal, Neal's magic- flooded back, and she forced herself not to seethe with fury. _Calm, like a smooth lake._

She walked towards the campfire, allowing her voice to betray the feelings her face did not show.

"Who got me _this_? Where have you taken me?" she demanded, eyes and voice hard.

"Er…" Dom stuttered, his calm face giving way to just a little fear.

She had reached him now. Still expressionless, she lifted her arm and delivered a blow she knew would knock him unconscious for at least a few hours, if not more. Neal, who had been asleep in his tent, swiftly joined his cousin.

Slightly less angry now, Kel strode towards her tent. They couldn't be more than a day or two from Steadfast- if she hurried, she might get back in time to distract them from searching for Neal and Dom. She would have to come up with something to explain leaving so suddenly and then returning; she certainly couldn't tell the truth. Dom and Neal were in enough trouble for leaving with her as it was, but to add charges of kidnapping… in any case, she knew that her story would not be believed.

Finally satisfied, Kel swiftly packed up her tent and clothes, took a water pouch and some of the food Dom and Neal had brought, and saddled Peachblossom. She reached the edge of the clearing they had camped in when a magical tug pulled her back, gently. She urged Peachblossom forward, again. Again, she was pulled back by that magic tug, less gently this time.

Forgetting her calm façade in her, Kel let off a stream of swearwords and marched back to Dom, who was still slumped by the smokeless fire.

"I am going to _kill_ them."

* * *

"Ugh," Neal moaned, dragging himself out of his blankets. Languidly, his stretched his muscles (at least, he liked to think of them as muscles. Dom referred to them as 'flabs of fat' and Kel liked to call them 'the result of a diet sadly lacking in vegetables'). Damn hangover… his eyes widened as the events of the previous three days came flooding back. He groaned and flopped back onto his sleeping roll, wishing it _had_ been just a hangover.

Kel had apparently heard him wake. She pushed aside the flaps to his tent, eyes blazing. Neal winced.

"How _dare_ you do this to me! Would you care to explain why you have _kidnapped_ me and dragged me to this _godsforsaken place_ so that I have to die in _disgrace_?"

"Er…" It occurred to him, briefly, that he had yet to utter one word to Keladry since the kidnapping, which could not possibly bode well for him.

"I was going to die, _yes_. But I would have died knowing I'd done the right thing. But now I have to return like a puppy with my tail between my legs, having _run away in shame_ at having done the _right thing_. All because of you! How dare you completely ignore my wishes like that! You dragged me away from my home, my family, my country, my position, _my_ _honor – MY LIFE!- _ so that I could _keep my head_! I'd rather _lose _my head than everything dear to me, _Nealan! _At least if I were _dead_, I'd _not miss them!_"

For some reason, his mouth seemed rather unable to form words. He hadn't even _imagined_ such an angry Kel before.

From outside the tent, a groggy voice questioned, "What's going on?"

* * *

Kel glared furiously at her best friend and his cousin over the ragged scrap of cloth gagging her. She had been firmly bound, gagged, and tied to horse by the two.

"Are we there yet?" Neal asked boredly, for the millionth time.

"_No_, most impatient Meathead, I told you half an hour ago that we're still days away. If you ask again, you can join Kel," Dom snapped, scowling at his green-eyed cousin with contempt.

This time, Neal did not even last half an hour before repeating the question.

"On second, thought," Dom replied this time, "If you ask again, I'll untie Kel and set her loose on you. She isn't sure that it was your idea, yet." Neal paled visibly and shuddered at his visions of a very dead self. He did not repeat the question.

"I wonder what Yuki's doing right now," Neal mused, after several minutes of Kel glowering at them..

"Probably the same thing she did yesterday. Word won't have reached her yet," Dom replied irritably.

"Oh. Right. I wonder what Lord Raoul's doing right now?"

"I don't really care," Dom said, almost growling now, "He's the one who sent me. It's because of him that I'm stuck here with _you_, Meathead. He can rot in hell for all I care."

"At least people will know that the King is being unfair to you," Neal replied kindly, attempted to comfort his cousin, "You left because of orders. Kel and I chose to disobey direct orders, so at least we sort of deserve what we're getting."

"You just have to have the last word, don't you?"

"Yup."

They continued on in silence.

* * *

**So… yes. I ended up rewriting this chapter, too. I'm going to try to do all of them, and then update once again. A scary prospect, I know.**

* * *

_**Original Author's Note:**_

_**Riiiight. I don't believe I've ever had that many people review a single chapter, especially not such a short one. Wow. **_

_**Just so you know, this was one of those annoying 'in between' chapters. That's why it's so… pointless. **_

__

_**Yes, I am aware Neal sound like a simpering idiot in this chapter. I have no idea why. Wait, I do, actually... it's from the shock of it all. Yup, he's feeling all lonely and whatnot...**_

_**And guess what else? I have an exact tie for KD or KN. :shudders: Wow… guys… I'm afraid I'll have to decide for myself if I don't get more reviews. The fluff and romance and whatnot won't happen until much later on, anyways.**_


	3. Welcome Home

**Forgetting the Past**

Chapter 3

* * *

"_Jonathan!" Alanna screeched, bursting into the so-called "private" study of her King. He looked up with an expression of bland interest._

"_May I help you, Champion?"_

"_How _dare _you send a Death Order for Lady Keladry! You did the _exact_ same thing when you were a knight, and for just one person, too! She was going after an entire refugee camp that Maggot was going to use to create more of those damned machines! She probably saved the whole damn country, you _idiot_!"_

"_Alanna, calm down," the kind said, frowning now. "If I didn't punish Keladry, people would see it as favoritism. I would have dozens of traitors on my hands demanding that I pardon them because, after all, I pardoned _her_. The realm would fall into chaos. We must look at the big picture here. As much as I wish otherwise, Keladry must be punished."_

"_That is absolute nonsense," the voice of his wife, Queen Thayet, came from the doorframe behind Alanna, where she was now standing. "You have numerous excuses for pardoning Keladry that would not hold up in any other argument. Even if you did not, the people are demanding that her crime be excused. Word of her deeds has already spread, and the people are furious that she is to be executed. Just _pardon_ her, Jon."_

"_Keladry is going to die, no matter what the two of you say," The king said, his voice dangerously quiet now, "You are both excused."_

"_Then I hope you don't need me, _Highness_, because I will be leaving the realm until Keladry is pardoned. If you dare to kill her, I swear to you I will wage war on this entire country. There are many lands who would happily help me."_

"_You dare to threaten me?" Jonathan hissed._

"_Yes, I dare. I swear on my honor that you will regret it if you do not pardon her. And you know that I always keep my promises, _Jon_." She spat his name, voice full of poison. _

_From the doorway, Thayet drew herself up to her full height._

"_I will be leaving with her, Jon," she said, quietly. "The younger children will come with me. I cannot trust them to a father with no heart left."_

_Jonathan paled ever so slightly, but kept his voice strong._

"_Do what you want, then. Just get out of my sight."_

_Thayet walked from the room, silent, and Alanna trudged behind her, her last hope gone._

* * *

_The messenger stopped in the doorway of the room, wary of the shattered glass at his bare feet and the fuming Lioness prowling about among the broken objects. _

"_A letter from my Lord Raoul," he gasped breathlessly, earning her attention._

"_Very well," she stomped over the rubble and held out a hand, "Give it here."_

"_Good day, my lady," the messenger said, leaving. Alanna pulled a small knife from her belt and split the seal._

Alanna-

I'm afraid I'm writing rather hurriedly, so I'll just hope that you can read this scrawl. I have to join the searches any minute now. It appears that Kel received word of her arrest before anyone else and fled, taking Domitan of Masbolle and your former squire, Nealan, with her.

Please let Jon know that if he doesn't repeal the order of execution and the accusation of treason against Kel, he's just lost the commander of the King's Own. He ought to have his head knocked down a peg or two.

Raoul

_She scowled at the letter and called the messenger back._

"_Take this to the king," she commanded, handing him a few copper coins as payment. She waved to a servant on the side of the room, and the servant immediately began packing her things. She flopped onto the bed, determined to get a few hours of sleep. The better rested she was, the better she could attempt to kill her king._

Miles away, Keladry awoke from her dreams with a start.

* * *

"Welcome to Galla!" Neal exclaimed as she shoved food into Kel's mouth. Her hands were still bound, and so she was forced to accept food from him. She glared at him.

"I hate you," she mumbled between mouthfuls.

"Someday you'll thank me," was the cheerful reply.

She merely rolled her eyes in return.

"What're we going to do?" she asked once she had finished eating and regained her composure.

"Live as happy little Gallan farm people for the rest of our lives. I can heal on the side, andDom can teach weaponry to the villagers. I'd say you could do the same, but people might get a little too curious about a woman who could fight so well."

She sighed. "It's a good plan. I suppose it's too late for me to go back now, isn't it?"

"It's been too late for a while, now."

"At least something good has come of it. You appear to have finally gained some brains."

Neal sniffed regally down at her. "I will have you know that I have always been a genius. In any case, at the rate you keep insulting me, I'll have more reason to hate you than you have to hate me by the time we get there."

She scowled up at her friend, and he winked cheerfully in return.

"Is Kel finished yet?" Dom asked, walking over. "If she is, we need to leave. We don't have that much of a head start."

"We _do_ have the better advantage of being able to go anywhere, though. It was raining when we left, so the tracks will have washed away and they'll have no idea where we've gone."

Dom shrugged. "Better safe than sorry. Let's get her on the horse."

* * *

As evening began to darken the sky, Dom pulled his horse up beside hers.

"Are you all right?" he asked, eyeing her carefully.

"What do you think?" she asked in return, shooting him a scornful glance.

"Neal said you had decided it was too late to return."  
"Yes."

"If I untie you, will you promise to stay with us?"

She did not reply for several seconds. Finally, she nodded her head, and Dom leaned over to carefully untie her bonds.

"You two have managed to ruin my life, you know," she said, more thoughtful now than angry. Dom grinned sheepishly at her.

"Look at it this way. Your life would have been ruined either way. At least now you get the chance to start over and make a new life."

She stared ponderously at him for a second, and then gave him a small, barely noticeable nod.

"You're right. Thank you, Dom."

He grinned widely. "Let it be written in the history books that Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan has thanked Domitan of Masbolle. It is clearly an event worthy of-"

Her looks silenced him, and they rode on in companionable silence.

* * *

"How much farther?" Neal groaned. He did look a bit green, and he seemed to be swaying on his horse.

"We've only _just_ left Cria," Dom rebuked, giving Neal a disgusted look.

"If you don't stop pestering us, _Nealan_," Kel added, "we're going to gag you."

Neal shot a quick glare at the Lady Knight for the use of his full name before lapsing into his sulkiest posture.

"Still-" he began, after a few minutes of silence. Kel and Dom simultaneously interrupted him with a resounding, "NO!"

"I say we gag him," Dom said, giving Kel a companionable look.

"Please… please no," Neal begged, unashamed.

In a matter of minutes, he was gagged and bound to his horse, much as Kel had been the week before.

"Ah haf oo bowf," he mumbled sulkily through his gag.

"We know," Kel said, a slight smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

"Ah oo ih, ee ow who ih a-uh ee. His ah e huh."

"What was that, Meathead?" Dom asked, grinning. Neal glared.

* * *

Night had fallen. Neal was restrained inside of the tent – better safe than sorry, Dom had repeated- and Kel and Dom were sitting by the fire. Dom was attempting to cook an acorn over the fire, using a net of woven grass to hold it to the stick. Kel was trying to explain that the net would burn first and then the acorn would fall into the fire.

"Why aren't you and Neal –especially Neal- more upset about this? He probably won't ever see Yuki again," she asked, finally giving up on persuading him to find a new way to cook the acorn.

"I think he's refusing to think about it," Dom replied, eyes intent on watching the acorn. The grass disintegrated and it fell into the fire. He sighed.

"And you?"

"I'm just trying not to remind him."

"I meant, why aren't you more upset?"

"Oh." Dom looked up at her. "I don't know. I suppose I'm satisfied with where I am. I'll miss my family and my friends, but I know that they'll be okay, and I know that me leaving will cost them less pain than me dying. Except maybe my older brother." He grinned slightly at this thought. "I'm not leaving as much as you think behind, Kel."

"Mmm."

"In any case," Dom leaned back and put his feet on one of the logs next to him, "it means I never have to escort the king on progress again. That alone might be worth never sleeping in a decent bed again."

Kel was not to be deterred by his humor. "Why did you come with Neal and me? Your name wasn't on the letter."

"I got my own letter," Dom said, calmly, "Whoever sent the warning didn't know us well enough to know that we were friends. I think they assumed that we would go separate ways."

"Who all… who all was sentenced to die?"

"Just us. Owen and Tobe were declared too young for punishment. Neal and I were regarded as the ringleaders of the other two groups who came after you, so it was decided that we would be the only other ones punished." Dom shrugged.

"But Lord Raoul ordered you-" Kel began

Dom shook his head. "They ignored him. I think the king just wanted to kill someone for it, and he regarded me as less valuable than Raoul, and less likely to cause protest."

"Oh."

* * *

"This is where we're staying?" the ungagged Neal asked, eyeing the ragged cottages and dirty livestock with distaste.

"Welcome home," Dom said, pitching his voice to sound absurdly cheerful.

A woman emerged from a cottage, shot them a frightened look, and scurried across the rut that seemed to be their main road into another cottage. She reemerged a few seconds later, now followed by a burly man wearing the leather apron of a blacksmith.

"Who might ye be?" he demanded with an unfriendly look. Dom had an answer prepared.

"We be a merchant fam'ly from Cria. Lost ever'thin in a gamble las' year- our landlor' fin'ly kicked us out this pas' week. We be hopin' t' settle here, buy some lan' wi' th' money we have left. I be called Domin, this is Nealith and our sister Kela. Have ye any room fer us?"

Another bulky man had come to stand behind the first as Dom spoke. The blacksmith turned to him, and he nodded.

"I be called Hether," the second man said. His voice and face were far friendlier. "I be in charge o' sellin' the land 'round here. I can set ye up nicely."

Dom gave him a smile, and they followed him to his cottage.

* * *

They surveyed the cottage with mild distaste, but Kel pointed out that it was more than they deserved, and Dom and Neal were forced to agree.

"Welcome home indeed," she muttered under her breath, "Welcome home."

* * *

**And I have finished rewriting the third chapter! I must be on a roll :p I added some scenes in and changed the last two parts a bit, because I couldn't see Kel getting too upset about the poverty of a villiage, like she did in the original. Too out of character x.x**

* * *

_**Original Author's Note:**_

**_Ummm…. Yeah. I think this story is going to take a pattern; two or three 'in-between' chapters and a major chapter, then two or three 'in between' chapters and another major chapter… you get the idea._**


	4. The New Commander of the King's Own

**Forgetting the Past**

Chapter 4

* * *

"Kela, Kela!" called one of the children that Kel now tended, running down the forest path with expert grace. A bit of grass had lodged itself in the girl's hair, and her face was pink with excitement.

It had quickly become clear that Kel could not do any of the things the village women were expected to do. In the end, she was put in charge of watching the younger children, a job that had formerly gone to an elderly woman too arthritic to work anymore. However, the woman could stills spin very fine thread, which was more than could be said for 'Kela'.

Kel smiled at the young girl, who reminded her of Tobe. It was a bittersweet feeling, knowing that she had been forced to break her promise to the young boy. She bent down so that she was eyelevel to the child.

"What is it, Laya?"

"Kyra's hur' an' no one knows wha' t' do wi' 'er!"

Kel stood up. "Where is Kyra, Laya? Take me to her."

She followed the girl at a brisk pace until Kyra came into sight, curled on the ground, clutching her stomach.

"Where does it hurt, Kyra?" Kel asked gently.

Kyra let out a gasping sob. "_Everywhere!_"

"I'm going to pick you up and carry you, okay? I'm taking you to Nealith. He'll make you feel better."

Kyra nodded slightly, closing her eyes and trying to stop sobbing. Kel gently lifted her up – the girl, fed barely enough to live, weighed next to nothing- and began questioning the other children that were gathered around.

"What happened?" she asked, directing her question at one of the older girls, who was usually calm and able to report accurately.

"We was jus' playin', an' Yidin poked Kyra in the side an' then she was like this," the girl gasped. Kel frowned, not having gathered anything from their story. Still, it might help Neal. She set off, followed by the scurrying, worried children.

Neal met them at the cottage, having been summoned by another boy, and he quickly shoed all of the children away. Kel settled Kyra on the extra cot they kept before being shooed away herself. She paced 

outside of the cottage, unable to answer the children's pestering questions. Finally they settled into a worried huddle, and Kel offered to tell them stories to pass the time.

_Once, there was a beautiful princess named Thayet…_

Slowly, as dusk fell, villagers began to gather with the children. Kyra's frantic parents arrived from the field, having just learned of their daughter's accident, and Kel was forced to tell her sobbing mother that she hadn't heard anything yet.

Finally, Neal emerged, looking weary.

"What?!" several villagers demanded, surging forward. The look on Neal's face had evidently sent Kyra's mother over the edge, and the woman wailed, certain that her child was dead.

"She's alright," Neal said, blinking at the mother with confusion. "She'll need to rest for a week or so, and she should probably stay here for the night so that I can watch her, but she'll be fine."

"What was wrong with her?" one of the boys – Yidin, Kel suspected- asked.

"A belly sickness. Nothing too terrible."

The boy nodded, satisfied, and the rest of the villagers left. Kyra's parents lingered over their daughter's bed for a time, until Neal gently told them that they needed their sleep, and that Kyra would be fine. Reluctantly, they left.

"So what was it really?" Dom asked from the chair in the corner, where he had been watching the ordeal.

"Burst appendix. I had to remove it, and then cleanse her body of its poison, before I could guarantee anything. She's lucky… without a decent healer anywhere around, she would have died."

"Mmm," was the only answer he received.

* * *

Something had changed after the ordeal with Kyra. The young women, reluctant to befriend Kel because of her stocky build and apparent inability to do anything, not to mention her formal, high-born speech, began to be kind to her. One offered to teach her to spin, a task at which Kel failed miserably. They finally discovered that, once taught, she was a decent weaver, and Kel started to watch the children from a small porch outside her cottage where she had set up her loom.

She had settled into a routine with Dom, too. Neal did not particularly care if he continued to practice the skills he had learned as a knight, but Kel and Dom both had started to go slightly crazy from lack of practice. They agreed to meet at a nice clearing about two miles into the woods every morning to do drills and spar.

And, for the first time, they really started to feel as if they were a part of the village. They were invited to the First Snow Festival, a small affair compared to the festivals and holidays of Corus, but fun nevertheless. Kel danced with two or three young men (and received endless teasing about it from Neal and Dom) while Dom seized the opportunity to flirt with every young eligible woman in his vicinity. The old ladies clucked from the sidelines that it was high time for a man of Dom's age to be married, and some of the spunkier ones took bets on which young lady would be the blushing bride. Neal was the only one who did not enjoy the event; he was too caught up with memories of Yuki and misery of never being able to see her again.

More time passed, and they even began to like living in the village. A young man had started courting Kel, much to her horror, and Dom had started to single out a young woman in the village. Neal was thinking about possible ways that Yuki might join then, and Kel agreed that some of them were quite reasonable. When the snow melted from the passes, a letter was dispatched disclosing their location and describing a plan for Yuki to slip away to join them.

* * *

**And another chapter revised. So short (weep) but still longer than the last one, which is promising. I think I captured my picture of them settling into the town much better in this chapter than the original. Yay!**

* * *

_**Original Author's Note:**_

_**This chapter is dedicated to Alianne Cooper, because I still feel **__**really**__** bad about missing her review, and because she gave me the longest review I've had in my entire life afterwards. And she's reviewed almost every fanfic I've ever written. **_

_**Someone else said they couldn't imagine Tobe being left behind by Kel, who'd promised not to do that. All I have to say is this- It's rather hard to keep one's promises when they are kidnapped.**_

_**And… um… Neal and Dom could only kidnap one person, and Seaver and Merric and them chose not to go with them.**__** Actually, Neal and Dom never asked them… And Jon is being abnormally prick-ish, so he's punishing Dom even though Raoul ordered him to go. Dom is a bit bitter and is taking it out on Raoul, which is why he seems mad. I promise he'll get over it, someday. **_**(Obviously, I have now addressed this part in the rewrite**_**, **_**and changed it from this. So ignore that paragraph :p)**

_**And it's been several months since the last chapter, just so you know. Kel has learned the sign language of Galla, because she had to pretend they had different signs in Tyra, where they supposedly came from, so that the townspeople wouldn't suspect her.**_


	5. The Children Strike Back

**Forgetting the Past**

Chapter 5

* * *

Kel looked up from her weaving, grinning as one of the younger boys tackled an older one and managed to knock him over. From a position just out of danger, several of the girls squealed with excitement. She was coming to love the village, especially now that it looked as if Neal would be able to find happiness. The letter should have arrived, and if Yuki was willing to follow its instructions, she should be here any day now. Neal was a mess of nerves and excitement.

The older boy managed to wrestle the young one down so that he was on top, but the younger one squirmed out of the position and leapt on the larger, slower boy's back. The girls let out another excited squeal, and one of the smaller boy's friends let out a loud whoop.

"Try to get him in a headlock," she shouted to the little boy, having learned that the children would not be surprised by her ability to fight as the adults would.

She heard the sound of many hooves beating in the distance, and frowned. Had they found her…? She remembered that the Gallan king sent soldiers through every month or so, and relaxed. The small town was about due for another visit.

"C'mon, Keth," she called out in encouragement, "You can take him!" The older boy finally gave the sign of surrender and Keth grinned up at her. She smiled warmly back. She had never thought she'd enjoy weaving and watching children play. She did not regret her knighthood- she would never regret her knighthood. But now she could be grateful for the order of execution, because it had given her _this_. She had been blessed with two lives now, both of which she was equally grateful for.

The horsemen were coming closer, and now Kel frowned with real worry. Had they ever come this far into the village before? Men in blue and silver rounded the corner, and she gasped.

"You there, halt! You are the Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan, are you not?"

She reached for the two knives that were all she had with her.

"In the name of the king, you are under arrest!" the man who seemed to be in charge boomed.

Keladry revealed her daggers as the children gaped at them.

"Get out of here!" she screeched at them, and they scurried to obey.

As one, the men dismounted and drew their swords, a few chuckling at her gall. A woman with daggers against a squad of fully-armed men from the King's Own?

* * *

"_Daine, I must ask you to go in search of Keladry in hawk form, in case she escaped my men. _Not_ that I think she will," King Jonathan added hastily, "but just in case."_

_Daine glared at him. "I did not come to help you with your lawlessness, Your Highness. Alanna has already told me what you did for her, so I _know_ how hypocritical you're being. Numair and I have already made up our minds. We'll be joining Alanna and George in- where they are. We won't serve a hypocritical, cruel king."_

_Jon replied venomously, "I _command_ you to stay and hunt for Keladry. You _are my subject_. You cannot disobey me."_

"_Watch us."_

* * *

Kel almost made it to the door before they were upon her. She slashed the arm of one and pushed him into another, so that the whole lot of them went tumbling back and she had room to scramble through the door. She had the wooden bolt in place in seconds.

"Dom!" she yelled at the lump under his covers, "Get up already! They're here!"

Dom bolted up, blue eyes wide, and scrambled for the sword he kept under his bed. Neal was already in the fields, where Dom was supposed to be. Kel dived under her bed and emerged with her glaive in hand just as the door exploded.

She briefly wondered who had managed to kick the solid door into pieces before they were upon her. Though outnumbered, her glaive quickly proved to be more than a match for them. Dom had a little more trouble, and was cut badly on one shoulder, but was not hurt further as the soldiers retreated into the open, where they would have room to surround Kel and Dom should they come out of the cottage, or set it on fire if they didn't. She looked and Dom and he nodded. She walked through the door first, wary of marksmen waiting to shoot her, and he followed behind, blood from his shoulder making small splotches on the floor.

Suddenly there was a shout, and one of the soldiers went down.

"Take that!" a small voice rang from above. Kel didn't take the time to glance up, instead taking advantage of the distraction to attack, but she knew that the children had climbed onto the roof from the other side, armed with rocks. It warmed her heart to know that they cared so much and were so brave, even as cutting down her fellow countrymen froze it. They had to die; if she turned herself in, they would tie her up and then destroy the village for harboring her. But she did not want to kill them.

Kel came out of the fight with only a few scratches and three or four nasty bruises. Dom had another, worse, cut on the same arm. It would probably need stitches.

"Stay here," she commanded, pushing him onto the cot. "I'm going to get Neal. We'll pack up and leave, take a boat in Tyra to somewhere." Dom nodded blankly, his face drawn and pale from pain and loss of 

blood. She told the children to go to Madam Urtha, the old woman who had looked after them before she came along, and ran down the road to the field where Neal would be working.

* * *

"_What do you _mean_, they're gone?" King Jonathan demanded._

"_Lady Alanna, Baron George, Wildmage Daine, Master Samalin, Lord Raoul and Buriram are all gone, Your Majesty. I am told that they boarded a ship, mostly likely bound for the Copper Isles. I am afraid that they were more serious about leaving than you suspected._

"_And my queen?"_

"_She and your children remain. I understand that they made arrangements for a later ship, early next month. The queen… hoped that you would change your mind when they all left, and that she would not have to leave after all."_

"_I want her locked up. _She_, at least, is going to stay here."_

"_Yes, your majesty." The man bowed and backed out of the room._

* * *

The village bid their farewell as best they could. They were terrified by what had happened, afraid of Kel, Dom and Neal. Nevertheless, small presents of food, supplies and a few useless, pretty things found their way onto the porch of the cottage as they packed over the course of the day.

"Where will we go next? I thought we might go down through Tusaine into Tyra, and take a ship from there." They were strapping their belongings to the horses, almost prepared to leave.

"We could just as easily go through Tusaine into the north of Maren. Maren and Tortall are on excellent terms; King Jonathan wouldn't dare bring armed soldiers there," Dom said.

It was Neal who came up with the final plan.

"Why don't we follow Kel's plan, catch a ship in Tyra, to throw them off the scent, and then take the ship to Maren. Southern Maren is much nicer, anyway, and that way if they _do_ find us, we can simply board a ship and disappear."

Kel and Dom looked at him with something akin to astonishment.

"That was actually _smart_, Meathead," Dom commented, aghast.

Neal sniffed. "I didn't go to the university for nothing, you know, even if I didn't stay."

* * *

It was raining when the horses trudged out of the small village where they had made a new home. Kel commented that it was simply _too_ dramatic, like one of the books Neal had read as a page- or, _worse_, like Neal's _poetry_. Dom gave a subdued laugh at this comment.

Just as they reached the edge of the village, Laya ran up to Kel's horse, her pale hair darkened by the rain and plastered to her head.

"Lady Kela, Lady Kela!"

Kel looked down at her surprised, and dismounted, her boots making a small splashing sound as she hit the mud.

"Yes, Laya?"

"I'm going to miss you!" Laya said, grabbing Kel's leg in a hug and beginning to sob. Kel looked down at her with astonishment, before smiling gently and bending down to hug the little girl properly.

"I'll miss you too, Laya. Take care of Keth for me, wouldn't you?"

Laya beamed up at Kel through her tears. "Yes, Lady Kela!"

* * *

**I heart Laya! She is just so adorable! Yet another chapter rewritten… at this rate, I may even end up updating today, for the first time in… just under a year. Like ten months or something. Scary.**

* * *

_**Original Author's Note:**_

_**EEE!! I love you all so much!! Thanks to all of you for the reviews!**_

_**And Patronus99, for sympathizing about Valentine's Day with me (other people did, but this was the best ;))**_

_**And to a certain person who said it would be funny if Kel had to pretend to be married to one of them… who says she won't?**_

_**And I'm going to drag the misery of a cliffhanger out as long as possible.**_

__

_**Riiiiiiiiiiight. Fin, for this chapter. It was very hard to write, with all the stabbing and all. I tried not to sound to repetitive, but I think I failed miserably. Ah well, fight scenes aren't my thing. Hopefully you'll all forgive me.**_


	6. Shopping

**Forgetting the Past**

Chapter 6

* * *

"I'd forgotten how slimy Tyra is," Dom commented, wrinkling his nose as they passed through the crowded streets. Brownish rain dripped from rotting wooden roof tiles to splash at decayed clapboards on the sides of buildings. The road was barely more than slimy reddish mud, and green slime clung to the bases of buildings that bordered it. They regarded the other, more interesting colors of slime as Tyra's version of flowers.

"Dom," Kel admonished, frowning at him, "There is absolutely _no_ need to be rude."

"It _is_ slimy," Neal agreed with Dom. Kel turned to scowl at him.

"Though I have to admit, it's a reasonably nice city elsewhere. It's just the seafront… disgusting," Dom continued

"Stop it, you two." Kel sighed. "Let's just find an inn. A _cheap_ inn," she added, "it will take all that we have and maybe more to book passage on a ship."

* * *

"_I beg your pardon?"_

"_I said, Your Majesty, that Queenscove, Masboll, Goldenlake, Pirate's Sweep and Mindelan have withdrawn their support from the crown. There are rumors that Cavall, Port Legannand several other small but vital estates – Trebond among them- intend to withdraw their support. The HaMinch family has not yet done anything, but the head of the family swears he will withdraw support as well."_

"_The HaMinch family has no reason to support the Lady Knight."_

"_No, but they have more reason that necessary to support law and justice, or so they say. They feel that while Keladry does not deserve her knighthood, she does not deserve death for a heroic deed, either."_

"_Very well. Burn the estates to the ground."_

* * *

"I _hate_ traveling in boats," Neal groaned. He did indeed look rather green.

"Perhaps Lady Alanna's tendency to seasickness has rubbed off on you?" Dom suggested.

"I am not seasick! Just… just… sick of boats!" Neal protested.

"Uh huh," Dom said, doubtfully.

"This trip would have been much shorter, you know, if it hadn't been for you," Kel put in.

"Shut up."

"She's right, Meathead," Dom jumped at the new angle from which to tease his cousin. "It's totally _your_ fault we're headed to Carthak rather than Maren."

"And that's the first place the king will look for us, since it's the farthest civilized place, and the easiest to disappear in."

"And it's expensive to live there, so we'll have to find jobs."

"But since he'll probably find us within a month, we'll barely have time to find a job before we have to move on."

Neal glared at them.

"I'm _sorry_, okay?" he spat out, "But really, it is _not my fault_ that I thought _The Oshenslaas_ was the ship he was talking about, rather than the _The Ocean's Lass_?"

"I would think that the fact that _oshenslaas_ is a _carthaki_ words might have given it away, but I could be wrong," Kel commented dryly.

"Meathead," Dom added, for good measure.

The teasing devolved into a full-out squabble was about to get nasty when a sailor shouted above them, "LAND IN VIEW!"

The trio forgot their argument instantly as they turned towards the direction in which he was pointing, their eyes desperate scanning the horizon for sign of land.

* * *

"This is _hot_," Kel complained, frowning at her reflection, "Not to mention ridiculous! What do they want all these veils for, anyway?"

"That's what you get for coming to Carthak," Neal hummed, slightly giddy from the humor of a Lady Knight – especially Kel- wrapped in veils.

"It is _your_ fault that we're here," Kel said dangerously, turning to face him, "Need I remind you in a way that will… stick?"

"N-no… really… I'm fine…" Neal stammered, backing up. That Kel would show her emotions so clearly meant that she was _really_ mad, a fact of which he was very aware.

"Good," she said, smiling dangerously, "I'm glad you'll remember from now on."

"Now, now, children, 'twill not do to bicker," Dom drawled from the doorway. In his hands were Carthaki clothes for himself and Neal. Neal's mouth dropped open when Dom held up one of the garments.

"That is a _dress_," Neal wailed.

* * *

"What do you _mean_, they cheated me?" Kel complained, as Dom shook with ill-concealed laughter.

"My dear Keladry," Neal choked through his laughter, "That was barely worth _one_ crescent, let alone _ten_."

"Well, how was _I_ supposed to know? They never exactly gave us Carthaki shopping lessons!"

"Obviously," Dom snickered.

"If you're so good at it, why don't _you_ do the shopping?" Kel demanded.

"Only women shop for food in Carthak. It's tradition," Neal began, a lecturing tone overtaking his normal voice, "It would be highly suspicious for Dom or myself to be in the food markets."

"_University,_" Neal said expressively at the same time Dom explained, "Neal's lectures."

Kel sighed.

Dom, taking pity on her, began to explain the relation between Carthaki crescents and Tortallan coins.

* * *

"I hate you."

"I hate you more."

"You do not."

"I'm fairly certain that I do."

"No one can hate better than I!"

"_Please stop bickering_."

This last sentence was, uncharacteristically, from Dom.

"You would hate her too," Neal whined.

"I haven't done anything," Kel retorted.

"This is entirely her _fault_."

Dom looked at him, prevented from laughing hysterically only by the knowledge that he looked much the same.

Kel had won in the end. They were accompanying her on a shopping expedition. Dom suspected that, in the future, she would make them do it without her. Of course, to avoid suspicion, Dom and Neal had required disguises; both were dressed in the ladies veils they had teased Kel about earlier.

The veils actually weren't so bad. Certainly, they weren't much worse than the men's clothing. Neal had not been entirely inaccurate when he described them as dressed.

No, the worst part had been the breast bands. They were each wearing one of Kel's –she had declared that she would have to burn them afterwards- stuffed with scraps of cloth. Dom shuddered at the memory.

"There's the melon cart," Kel pointed. Dom nodded determinedly and marched towards it.

"Two melons," he requested in a high voice clearly meant to be female.

"Forty crescents, twenty each."

"You charge too high, sir!"

Kel and Neal were hanging back, both shaking with suppressed laughter at Dom's acting.

"I will not pay more than five crescents each! You would rob a woman and her family!"

"Fifteen each."

"Seven."

"Twelve."

"Ten."

"Done."

"Thank you sir." Dom batted his eyelashes for good measure, and returned to where Kel and Neal were still trying not to laugh.

"Oh, stop it," he demanded irritably, "Or…" now he returned to his high-pitched voice, "Would you mock a fine lady such as myself?"

That did it. Kel and Neal burst out laughing.

* * *

They were making their way back to the small apartments they had rented, laughing and joking about the shopping expedition and the various ridiculous things Dom had done (and some that Neal had done unintentionally), when they were stopped at one of the checkpoints located throughout the city.

"Stop! By the order of the crown, you are to be inspected!"

The three spun around, stunned.

"You will follow us to be searched. Please do not panic or make a scene."

"What's this about?" Kel whispered urgently to Neal.

"Routine. We have nothing to worry about, except maybe explaining why two of us are men dressed as women," Neal replied, though he was pale with fear in spite of his comforting words.

"Oh."

* * *

They had been locked in the dry, cold stone room for nearly two hours when they heard voices outside. Neal's face took on a look of apprehension as a voice commented "Two men dressed as women? From Tortall, you say? My wife and I will oversee this search directly. Thank you, Master Rathchin."

Twenty minutes later, a finely dressed man and woman entered. At the sight of the woman, Neal gulped audibly.

"_Neal?"_ the woman asked, incredulously, "What on earth are you doing here? And-" she turned and squinted at Dom and Kel- "Lady Knight Keladry, I believe. I don't know _you_." She frowned at Dom.

"Domitan of Masbolle, my lady," Dom answered promptly.

"Ah. Would you care to explain your presence in my country, Neal, Lady Knight Keladry, Domitan?"

* * *

**Ahahaha. Another chapter done. If you didn't guess, the man and woman are Emperor Kaddar and Empress Kalasin. Kally knows Neal from when they were children, since he was often at the palace with his father. She had seen Kel, of course, since she wanted to be a lady knight herself. But she has no idea who Dom is :p So that's all for this chapter, I guess.**

* * *

_**Original Author's Note:**_

_**I have a request, or I guess you could call it a challenge. Basically, I would like someone to write a Garth Nix fanfic that involves a romance between Lireal and Nick, not rated over PG-13. I swear on my life to review every single chapter if you tell me about it in your review (which you will **__**certainly**__** be leaving, no?)**_

__

_**Oh…. Noooooooooo…. Someone has actually guessed my plot! Well, in part. Not really. Just parts of it. Oy. And I promise they will eventually go to Maren, but for current purposes… Well, I just need them in Carthak for now. To… umm… take care of some business.**_

_**Lady Emmi has sent me another flame, and I did add sarcastic little comments, but I don't feel that it's necessary to make any more fun of her than I already have. Thank you for the flame! It made some **__**wonderful**__** smores.**_


	7. Better than Kel

**Forgetting the Past**

Chapter 7

* * *

"Ah. Would you care to explain your presence in my country, Neal, Lady Knight Keladry, Domitan?"

"Well, you see," Neal began at the same time Dom started, "It all started when…"

"You tell it," Dom said, drawing a blank for a lie.

"Well, you see, Kel has been feeling ill and needed a vacation, but King Jonathan didn't want to grant permission, so she sort of left with only Lord Gareth's permission… so we decided to come here instead of Mindelan until she's recovered! The dry air should, er, do wonders for her breathing."

"You couldn't come up with a better lie, Neal? You used to be so much better." A thoughtful look came over her face. "Or maybe I was just too young to tell then?"

"Er…"

"Now, tell me the truth."

The Emperor of Carthak sat back and watched the scene with some amusement.

"Well, you see-" Neal began, before Kel interrupted him.

"The _truth_," she said, shooting a glare at Neal, "is that your father has sentenced the three of us to death for treason. I was in charge of a refugee camp and while I was away reporting to Lord Wyldon, the camp was overtaken and they were taken into Scanra, the adults to be sold as slaves and the children to fuel the nightmarish killing machines the Scanrans were sending into Tortall to attack us. I disobeyed a direct order and followed them into Scanra. I brought them back safely, and we were forewarned of our impending arrest, so we fled."

"What she left out," Dom added, "is that she didn't want to leave. Neal and I kidnapped her."

Kalasin was silent for a few tense moments.

"That's unlike him. He disobeyed direct orders from his father and followed Alanna into Tusaine once, when she was kidnapped. I can't imagine why he would punish so severely for that. Are you certain," she leveled an intense stare at them, "that you are telling the truth?"

"Yes, Your Majesty," Kel said, meeting her eyes without hesitation.

"Very well," Kalasin sighed, satisfied, "I understand that it must be difficult for Tortallans to find work here. If you will permit it, I'd like to accept you into my court here. We have magic that can disguise you from others, so no one will suspect that it is you. We will find new identified for you, and I will wait for official news of you from Tortall. If your story is true, you have nothing to fear from me. I will shelter you 

from my father. If you are lying…" She did not complete the sentence. She swept from the room, every inch the empress.

The emperor stood as well once the door closed behind her. He smiled politely –Kel noticed that he had a rather nice smile for a ruler- and informed them, "I will have a trusted servant take you to your rooms. The charms to conceal your identity and your new names and papers will be brought to you within a few hours. Please remain in your rooms until then."

With one last smile, the emperor left. After a few minutes, a servant bustled in. He looked them over once, then bent and cut their bonds, Kel's first.

"Please, Milady, Lords, follow your humble servant."

Glancing at each other, they followed him through twisting corridors until they finally reached a grand door engraved with scenes that Neal told them came from Carthaki mythology.

The rooms inside were spectacular. There was a central room with a rug of zebra skin on the golden marble floor and at least five couches placed between side tables bearing exotic, heady flowers. A golden chandelier held candles that would offer light once the sun went down that evening.

There were four suites branching off of this, three of which they immediately claimed. Kel's was the largest –Neal and Dom had insisted- and had a small, beautifully decorated sitting room between her large bedroom and the main room. Off of her bedroom (the sheets were wild silk, dyed with expensive purple, Neal remarked with awe) was a spacious wardrobe and dressing room as well as a privy chamber with a remarkable bath.

Neal and Dom's rooms were identical and simpler, each with a small hallway leading back to their bedrooms (the silk on their sheets was plain white, Neal marked with noticeable disappointment). Their privy chamber and dressing rooms were not separate as Kel's had been, though the bathtubs were still quite remarkable.

At the far end of the main room they found a door that led out into another room, this one with an entire wall made of glass that looked out onto the royal menagerie. In this there was another door, smaller and made of glass that led onto the outdoors balcony with its beautiful lattice rail carved in marble.

By the time they had finished exploring their new home, their papers and charms had arrived along with an invitation to a ball to be held later that night.

* * *

"Guh," Kel gasped as the maid tightened the corset yet again, "I feel like an orange being squeezed for juice!"

"Her Majesty's orders, milady. I'm sorry," the maid replied, pulling the corset tighter by another notch.

"Why must I wear this?"

"Her Majesty said that you looked too much like a cow without it," the maid replied, tonelessly. Kel flinched at the familiar insult of her youth. She decided to keep her mouth shut.

"Keeeel," Neal called, poking his head into her dressing room without invitation. She was instantly grateful for the dressing curtain that hid her undergarments from his view.

Neal turned bright red when he realized what she was wearing, and ducked back out, calling an apology out as he did so.

"Milady, I am done with the corset," the maid announced, "Do you require help putting the dress on."

Kel was about to reply no as she bent to retrieve the dress, but discovered that she could barely move her midsection thanks to its clutches.

"I… I think I do…" she said, gasping for air.

The maid carefully slipped the dress over her head – a russet red one Kel had picked from the numerous dressed Kalasin had sent over- and deftly fastened various buttons and ties. There was a white sash for her waist, and Kel discovered that her midsection could, indeed, be squeezed tighter. The maid bossily pushed her down into the chair where her makeup had been done earlier, and began to wrestle with Kel's hair. It was longer now, nearly mid-back in length, because she had grown it out as a disguise among the people in Galla and had not yet had time to cut it. A hot iron was produced and Kel could _feel_ her hair burning as the maid wrapped strands around it. Finally, after much painful tugging, brushing and adjusting, the maid told her to stand and stepped back to admire her handywork.

"You look _lovely_, milady!"

Kel turned to the mirror and bit back a laugh. She looked like Lady Knight Keladry, wearing a dress and a grumpy expression and squeezed a great deal around the middle.

Someone knocked on the door.

"You can come in, Meathead," she called.

Neal came in, raising an eyebrow at her appearance. "You _do_ know that you're not supposed to be able to tell a Lady's wearing a corset right? Perhaps it's just a _little_ too tight?"

"Tell the maid that," Kel grumbled, "What are you doing here, anyway?"

"You left your illusion charm out in the main room. We're all going to put them on in the main room and… you know… get used to seeing each other like that before we leave. Oh, and mages will see that you're magicked, but they'll probably just assume it's a beauty or protection charm. If they ask, tell them one of the two.

Kel smiled wanly as she accepted the golden chain with the ruby pendant that would make her appear to be someone else.

"Thanks. No, _go_," she said, swatting at Neal, "You're not even dressed yet."

* * *

"Right. So, what's my name supposed to be? I've forgotten," Dom said. He and his cousin were sitting on a couch in the main room, not immediately visible from the main door.

"Duinar. I'm Nileth, and Kel is Kiiala," Neal said, with the sound of someone reciting something rather desperately.

"Right."

Kel joined them, groaning as the corset dug painfully into her skin.

Dom raised an eyebrow, much as his cousin had done an hour before.

"Trying to impress someone with that?" he asked dryly.

Kel scowled at him. "Her Royal Highness has ordered me to wear a corset." She paused, a thoughtful look creeping onto her face. "I suppose it might have to do with the disguise. It would be bad if my figure didn't match the appearance projected over it."

Neal and Dom nodded, realizing that she was probably correct.

"So," Dom began, "Disguises on one, two, three!"

As one, they slipped the jewelry on.

Dom and Neal stared at Kel in shock, before bursting out laughing in unison.

"They… haha… couldn't have… picked a better… hahahahahahaha… disguise, Kel," Neal gasped out between bursts of laughter.

Kel frowned at them. Though, she didn't really look like Kel anymore. Dom and Neal both looked different, but they both had the same hair color as before, and similar eye colors. Kel, on the other hand…

Basically, she had been transformed into a shapely blonde with huge blue eyes and pretty, though not quite beautiful, features.

She scrambled to a mirror and stared at herself in shock, while Dom and Neal continued to laugh. Dom had, at some point, fallen off the couch. She reached out to touch the mirror, gently, and then shook her head.

"C'mon, idiots, let's go. The ball will start soon.

* * *

"The Lords Duinar and Nileth, and the Lady Kiiala." Neal and Dom escorted Kel down the grand stairs, one on either side of her.

"This is so awkward," she giggled into Dom's ear.

He blinked at her. "Is it? Haven't you been presented before?"

"That's only for girls who went to convents," Kel replied, smiling.

"Ah."

Once they reached the ballroom floor, Kel was immediately pounced upon by a number of young males. Slightly stunned, she allowed herself to be lead off for dance after dance by wealthy young nobleman who would never have looked twice at her without the charm.

Neal and Dom, meanwhile, settled down at one of the numerous benched surrounding the dance floor. Dom immediately relaxed into the seat, watching the dancers. He snickered as he saw Kel in the arms of a third man. The cousins sat in companionable silence until Kel finally broke away from the young men and came to sit behind them.

"Gah! I have half a mind to take this stupid charm off and just risk it! They _won't leave me alone_!" Neal laughed and Dom commented, "No, leave it on! It's such an improvement!"

Kel's face went swiftly blank and she turned and strode away. Neal glared at his cousin accusingly.

* * *

**Ahhh, this chapter still makes me wince! Poor Kel! I kind of feel sorry for Dom, facing her revenge and all, but really… mostly I just feel sorry for Kel. I mean, ouch.**

* * *

_**Original Author's Note:**_

_**W****ell, another chapter done! (finally) Thank you all my loverly reviewers! I adore reading your reviews… it absolutely makes my day!**_

**(Obviously, this part was originally at the beginning of the chapter)**

_**A few things I must say before I begin the chapter:**_

_**1.Track season just started. This means that I have three hours day on the computer, **__**if**__** I'm lucky. I'll still try to update at least once a week (I've got **__**a schedule going…) but I don't know how well that will work out. So please don't kill me if there's a great deal of time in between updates.**_

_**2.My middle brother's interest in the computer has revived, which limits my computer time even further. I **__**might**__** get two hours a day, possibly longer if I can manage to convince him it's a good idea for him to get on while I'm at track practice.**_

_**3.I consider a flame anything that tells me my story is terrible in a **__**rude**__** way, and anything that tells me **__**how**__** to write. I take suggestions perfectly fine, but there's difference between "It'd be better if you did…" or"You might try…" and "You have to do…" or "You'd better change…" Do you get it? Perhaps that's not really a flame, but I think such people need to learn to re-word their reviews, because –despite the fact that they may feel this way- they are **__**not**__** the author of the fanfic.**_


	8. Best Friends

**Forgetting the Past**

Chapter 8

* * *

The Imperial gardens really were amazing. The flowers, every single petal of every single one absolutely perfect, were stunning. Though she knew that the palace employed a small army of gardeners, it was hard to believe that human hands, no matter how skilled, could possibly have created something this magnificent. She gently touched a vibrant red-orange bloom. It was treason to pick one, so she merely bent down to smell it. The scent, of course, was heavenly.

She was squeezed into yet another painful corset, but thankfully the dress was far less elaborate and complicated than the one the night before had been. Her hair was loose, though expertly curled by the maid, and a strand of it brushed her nearly-bare shoulder as she straightened. Slowly, she moved along the path, admiring flowers as she went and toying with the illusion charm around her throat.

"Kel!" she heard a faint call from somewhere behind her. She turned, and could only barely make out Neal, far back along the path that she had come up. A slight smile lit her falsely beautiful face. She ambled on until she found an elaborately carved ebony bench, where she sat down to wait for him. Finally, a gasping Neal collapsed in front of her.

"Where have you _been_?" he demanded, "I've been looking for you all day!"

"It's not even noon yet, Neal," she commented dryly, moving over so that he could join her on the bench.

"… Still. I have been looking for you all day. Listen, Dom didn't mean what he said. He was just practicing sticking his foot in his mouth. He's getting a bit rusty, you know, without as many people to practice on as he's used to."

"Usually, Neal, when people 'stick their foot in their mouth' they are saying what they truly think."

"I'm afraid that 'general' is not a term that can be applied to Dom. 'crazy,' 'lunatic' or 'insane' would be more to the point."

"You forgot 'idiot,'" Kel commented quietly.

"How could I forget! I apologize most sincerely K- Lady Kiiala! You may have my life as ransom!"

"You forget everything, _Nileth_."

"Hey," Neal protested unenthusiastically.

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, studying the flowers and admiring the beauty of the occasional butterfly.

"Neal?" Kel asked, after a while.

"Hm?"

"Why does no one think of me as female? Or if they do, it's as a sort of… mother-figure."

"Uh…" Neal stammered, unsure of how to answer the unexpected question.

"Thank you, Neal," she said, grinning, "for the ego-boost. IT was sorely needed."

"I've never really thought about- that is to say, I have no idea. I can't understand how they could possibly think like that."

"You are _so_ comforting, dearest Neal."

He grinned sheepishly at her.

"Sorry. I just really don't know what to say. I know what he said- hey, _wait a second_! How come you get all offended by Dom's comment and ignore me completely! You like him better than me!"

She laughed at that. "I think I'm just more used to your obliviousness, Mea- Neal."

"Hmph. I still think you like him better than me. And after all we've been through together! Faithless friend!"

She rolled her eyes at him.

"In any case, it is _hot_ out here. Want to go back inside?"

She allowed herself to be steered toward the door into the palace.

"Now," Neal said when they were almost there, "We just need to plot our revenge."

Kel smiled at him gratefully.

* * *

The object of their plotting was nowhere to be found, probably afraid for his life. That, or primping for the ball to be held that night, Neal had commented sarcastically when they had discovered he was not in their suite of rooms.

"Not in the servants' hall," Neal reported as they met up in a small courtyard after another round of searching.

"Not in the bathing wings, either."

Neal lifted an eyebrow, obviously assuming the worst. Hurriedly, Kel explained, "I sent a serving boy in to look for him!"

There was a snapping sound and the very man they were speaking about crashed to the ground in front of them.

"No… way…" they said as one.

"Er, hullo," Dom said, his eyes betraying his nervousness.

"Dom," Kel and Neal responded in unison, eyes glinting with malice.

Dom could only stare at them, thoroughly terrified.

* * *

**Heh heh heh. And so the punishment for Dom begins… he totally deserves it. Jerk. But really hot, beloved jerk. (hearts Dom)**

**Another chapter rewritten. I'm thinking I'll only do through ten, though that depends on whether or not the last few chapters are worse than I remembered them. Eek.**

**I moved this chapter ahead a day in time and put Keladry in the garden rather than just outside the ballroom, but other than that the events are more or less the same as the original chapter. Yay!**

* * *

_**Original Author's Note:**_

_**Ah… I pity Dom. Anyone in their right mind would. Then, he **__**did **__**bring it upon himself…**_

_**As much as you may think you know which ship it now is, I promise you that you will be surprised. I should make it a KelJoren just to spite all of you… just kidding, of course. You are wrong, whatever you are thinking. At least, partly wrong.**_


	9. The 'Girl'

**Forgetting the Past**

Chapter 9

* * *

"You got the supplies?"

"Yes."

"Let's get to work, then."

* * *

Couples swirled around the elaborate ballroom, a different one from the night before. Neal had explained to Kel, as they sat companionably off to the side of the dance floor and somewhat out of sight, that the Imperial Palace had nearly two hundred different ballrooms, each serving a different purpose. This was one of the smaller ones, and despite the three hundred or so people in attendance, this was considered a very small ball, barely more than a party.

"When their imperial majesties really throw a ball, there are thousands in attendance. It's very hectic," Neal explained, "One of the grand ballrooms is nearly a mile wide." Kel shook her head in disbelief.

"Really. We do have some of the nicer rooms, but we're barely above average for a guest to the palace. Some of the suites have dozens of bedrooms and several terraces. Those are kept for delegations, of course. The Tortallan delegations now stay in a small palace separate from the main one, set in one of the larger gardens."

"Is there a delegation here? Or do you think that it would be safe to visit?" Kel asked, reflectively.

"I don't know. I suppose I could ask Kal- Empress Kalasin, but I hate to trouble her when she's doing so much for us already."

"I suppose you're right. Maybe one of the servants would know."

"I'll ask around," Neal promised.

Meanwhile, a young woman cowered in the corner of the ballroom, looking thoroughly terrified. She had a sharp, mannish face under a poorly styled blond wig that allowed her dark hair to peek out from underneath. She was painfully thin, with no chest to speak of, and shoulders far too wide to be attractive. Her ball gown was a blinding shade of pink with lime green embroidery, with orange trim and an orange sash embroidered with the same lime green patterns. Her eyes were a lovely shade of pale blue, the only attractive thing about her.

All in all, she was _not_ a court beauty.

A man rather resembling a large, hairy bear (a large, hair, _unattractive_ bear) lumbered over to her.

"Dance?"

"Of- of course," the girl squeaked.

The bearish man dragged the girl through a number of dances, causing the wig to slide even further askew. Her dancing was every bit as appalling as her outfit. She tripped numerous times, managing to rip the gown to reveal hairy legs above her lilac stockings and green dancing slippers. Embarrassed, she tried desperately to hide the tear.

Taking pity on her, the man led her out into the garden. The girl's terror seemed to increase, and her blue eyes darted about frantically, looking for an escape.

As soon as they were out of sight, the man pressed her up against a wall, unlacing the back of her hideous dress with practiced ease, using one hand to prevent her from screaming. He pressed his lips to her own, clumsily knocking her wig off to reveal dark curls. The last lace undone, the dress fell off to reveal what was quite clearly a well-muscled _man_ glaring up at him. He stumbled back, shocked.

"I am going to _kill_ Kel and Neal," Dom fumed, punching the man painfully in the eye before gathering up his costume and making a hasty exit.

* * *

"It's amazing that they were able to build so much so quickly. The palace of Emperor Ozorne was destroyed, right, and so they built all of this from scratch?"

"Actually, they intended to rebuild –maybe we can go see it sometime, there's actually quite a bit left- but there was a serious problem with _rats_," here, Neal smiled as some private joke, "and so they rebuilt elsewhere. I believe that the emperor employed the entire mage populace to help rebuild, so it went rather more quickly than had it been built solely with manual labor."

"Ah. Interesting."

* * *

**Ahaha, my favorite chapter ever. It's still short, but it's actually almost 300 words longer than the original. Alas, it could not be helped. I still love it (heart)**

**As for why Dom would go along with it- Neal spelled him so that he could not leave the ballroom without an escort, and while in the ballroom, he could only speak to say yes, he would dance with someone, and he was not allowed to refuse. Poor Dom. And Smart Neal O.o**

* * *

_**Original Author's Note:**_

_**-giggles insanely- Oh… I love it. It took me two hours to write, just because I was laughing so hard. It's probably not that funny, actually, but it amused me to no end. I actually pity Dom…**_

_**And, yes, it was short, but it seemed like a good place to stop and it's the third chapter in three days, so…**_


	10. Lady Jaine

**Forgetting the Past**

Chapter 10

* * *

The next morning found Domitan of Masbolle, now known as Duinar, huddled over a sketch of several stick figures enduring various forms of torture.

"Not decapitation… too quick… waking up naked in the Royal Audience Chamber… too early… um…" he muttered as he worked.

"Lord Duinar?" a maid asked, hovering near the door and afraid she may have been assigned to an insane man, "There's a lady here to see you."

"If it's Lady Rhysa, tell her never to come near me again," Dom said, not looking up from his work.

"No, my Lord, it's Lady Jaine."

Dom looked up, slightly more interested now. "Lady Jaine?"

"Heiress to the estates of Isador, half the capital city!"

"Ah… is she pretty?"

"Men seem to think so, my Lord," the maid answered, timidly.

"Interesting. Send her in. This can wait." Dom shoved the paper away and turned his chair to face the door, looking smug.

Moments later the maid returned, followed by a lovely woman with black hair and azure eyes not so different from his own. She was tall and shapely, and Dom allowed himself a moment to gaze at her before smiling hospitably.

"May I help you, Lady Jaine?"

"Yes," she practically purred, "I was hoping you might be my escort for tonight. We would make _such_ a lovely pair."

Dom gave her his laziest, sexiest (he hoped) smile. "I would be honored to escort you, Jaine." She giggled at his use of her first name, curtseyed beautifully, and sashayed from the room.

"I'll send one of my seamstresses to fit you, so that we will match this evening," she called over her shoulder as she left.

With a satisfied smile, Dom returned to the sheet of paper illustrating his plans of revenge against Kel and Neal.

* * *

"Can…" Neal panted, "Can we please stop. I'm way too out of practice for this pace."

Kel grinned at her best friend. "That's why I'm making you practice. You haven't done any drills since we left Tortall. You're in disgraceful condition."

Neal gave her his most imploring gaze.

"Oh, all right, we can stop for today. But we'll be back at it tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that, until you're back in shape."

With a dramatic sigh, Neal nodded his head.

They had been in the magnificent glass-walled room next to the balcony, and they now headed back into the main room. Both were surprised to see a beautiful lady, her inky black hair curling elegantly over a day gown of dark blue linen embroidered with black (_who makes a day gown in such dark colors?_ Kel thought as the girl exited through the door) emerge from Dom's room. Once she had left, Kel and Neal looked at each other blankly.

Finally, Kel shrugged, and then a slow, wicked grin crept onto her face.

"Neal?"

"What?" he asked, looking at her suspiciously.

"I wonder if that's a friend Dom made last night."

They both roared with laughter.

* * *

"Duinarof Reshbiz, and Lady Jaine of Isador."

Kel looked up, and grimaced. It was Dom with the lady from earlier that day. Side by side, with Dom's disguise, they looked startlingly like brother and sister. _A matched pair_, she thought dryly. They were dressed in matching dark blue, framed dramatically by the white marble staircase down which they descended gracefully. She prodded Neal, rather harder than necessary.

He blinked up, not registering what he was seeing for a second.

"Oh." He wrinkled his nose. Lady Jaine was clearly besotted with the handsome 'Duinar' and somehow it seemed wrong for two people who looked so… so _related_… to be hanging all over each other. He turned away quickly.

Kel, however, continued to watch them thoughtfully. Not so long ago… just a few years, really, when she had been a squire, she would have loved to have taken Lady Jaine's place in Dom's arms. Now, she was certain she'd rather be in the arms of _any_ other man. Dom had apparently turned into an absolute jerk. 

Looking around the ballroom, she caught sight of two people who looked furious as they, too, watched the couple walking down the stairs. She suspected they were Lady Jaine's parents. _Obviously, Neal and I are not the only ones unhappy with the arrangement…_

She yawned. Staying up so late was wreaking havoc on her sleeping schedule. She'd have to plead out of the next one. She slipped out, vowing to lecture Dom in the morning.

* * *

"Dom," a very too-calm-to-really-be-calm Keladry-in-disguise stood in his doorway. Grateful that he was saved the explanation of Lady Jaine's presence because she had left a half-hour before, Dom opened one bleary eye to peer at Kel.

"Hm?"

"You know better than to get serious about the locals. Remember the girl you left in Galla, heartbroken? We can't stay here forever. We'll have to leave. You can't lead poor Jaine _on _like that. And what if you fall in love with _her?_ I'll be stuck with moping, Yuki-withdraw-suffering Neal _and_ Jaine-withdraw-suffering Dom. You are being reckless, irresponsible, not to mention foolish. And it's not like Lady Jaine's irresistible. She's fake from head to toe? How could you possibly want to be _near_ her?"

"I didn't do anything, _she_ asked _me_," Dom mumbled, a little sleepily, from his bed.

"Then _why_ did you accept?"

"No better option," he grumbled. He had in fact intended to pull a prank, involving the unfortunate Lady Jaine, that would thoroughly embarrass Kel and Neal, but had found himself unable to pull away from the beautiful, and as he now knew incredibly _possessive_, Lady Jaine.

"There are a _number_ of other-" she stopped, realizing that _she_ was the only other option. Dom could hardly go to the date with Neal, and the rest of the people… she sighed.

"Fine. Just, go alone next time. It's not so bad, you know. More options."

Dom appeared to ponder that. "True," he finally agreed, before diving under his blanket and going back to sleep. She sighed heavily and walked tiredly from the room.

How she wished she were still in Tortall, happy with her normal, quiet life.

* * *

**I can never decide if I like this part of the story or not. Alas. Another chapter rewritten! (And all in the same day. Woah. I suppose it's because they're pitiful and short.)**


	11. Lord Immar

**Forgetting the Past**

Chapter 11

-

* * *

Kel had discovered the Marble Gardens after two weeks in the palace, about the time she forgave Dom for his cruel remark and the incident with Lady Jaine. She even helped Dom avoid the aforementioned Lady, who was still besotted with him more than a month after the one ball they had attended together.

In any case, the Marble Gardens had rapidly become one of Kel's favorite locations within the palace. True, they didn't have the rich scents and natural, flawless beauty of the real gardens, but they were cool during the day, and there was something about the delicate white blossoms carved from marble that decorated this room that had captured her heart. It was always quiet; most people found the silent stillness of the lifeless marble sculptured eerie and preferred to be elsewhere. But Kel knew she would never keep her mask in place by picture a lake again; instead, she would always picture this room, intricately carved of marble to form a garden forever frozen in colorless time.

_I'm waxing poetic,_ she thought with a slight smirk.

There was a particularly beautiful portion with carved sparrows bathing in a carved fountain –no water in it, of course, to disturb the silence- that she loved best of all. After several days of wondering around this marvel, she had learned to move more silently than ever before, so that she would not break the spell that seemed to be over the place. Soundlessly, she drifted towards the elaborate fountain, passing carved lattice trellises lined with pale marble roses and the trunks of elegant marble trees that disappeared into clouds of delicate, individually carved marble leaves.

She spent nearly half an hour there, reflecting on her current place in life and remembering, with some regret and some happiness, the past, before leaving. She did not really care to admit it, but she was finding that she enjoyed this life just as much as her life in Tortall and her knighthood, and the peaceful peasant life she had lead in Galla.

_If I had been prettier, I wouldn't have minded being a lady. Mamma would have made sure I was still allowed to practice my glaive, so I wouldn't have been entirely useless._

Finally, after nearly half an hour, she left the Marble Gardens to dress for dinner. She was almost halfway back to the suite she shared with Dom and Neal when a short, nervous, ratlike man shuffled up to her, nearly wringing his hands with anxiety. Several other noblemen were standing around –this was a popular place to rest after spending the day hunting or working on the palace training grounds- watching with amusement.

"Please… Lady Kiiala… would… wouldyouallowescortball?"

"I beg your pardon?" Kel asked, looking at him more sharply now. He had longish black hair pulled back from his face in several braids, which only made his nose seem to stand out farther from his face his chin and forehead recede farther, so that he looked not ratlike, but _like a rat_.

"Would you-" the man began again, more slowly this time, before a handsome man with the look of a Tyran about him interrupted.

"Lord Immiar is foolish enough to hope that a beauty like you would allow a rat like him to escort you. Of course, my beautiful lady, you needn't settle for him. I would be happy to escort you." A cocky smile adorned the man's handsome face.

"I- I…" Lord Immiar stammered.

Kel eyed the Tyran. He was tall and lean, but muscled, with smooth ash-blonde hair and pretty hazel eyes not unlike her own. His skin had the slight tan of a man who spent time outdoors, but only when he chose to do so. He was wearing stylish clothes that confirmed her guess he was Tyran- the embroidery at the bottom had been inordinately popular when they had set sell from the capital city.

"What is your name?" she asked, attempted to sound flirtatious. From the look on his face, she suspected that she had succeeded.

"Duke Yohanssan of Tyra," the handsome man said, puffing out his chest ever so slightly. He looked ridiculous, and Kel choked back an inappropriate giggle as he continued, "recently ascended to that position."

"Well, Your Grade Duke Yohanssan of Tyra, I decline your offer," she replied flatly, "I will attend the ball with Lord Immiar." She watched Duke Yohanssan, speechless with shock, with amusement. Lord Immiar also appeared speechless, apparently astonished that he had been _accepted_.

"Please, Lord Immiar, if you would meet me at my rooms before the ball starts?"

"O- Of course, L-Lady Kii… Kiiala," Lord Immiar stammered.

* * *

"What happened to not getting involved with anyone?" Dom asked sourly from his perch on her bed as the maid yanked away at Kel's falsely-blonde hair.

"I'm hardly _involved_, Dom," Kel replied, "I'm only going with him out of pity, and because men like Duke Yohanssan need to have their heads popped once in a while lest they float away. Immiar is a pitiful, cowardly little rat, and I'd never have gone with him if the Duke hadn't intervened."

"Lucky Immiar," Dom muttered.

She rolled her eyes at him.

"I'll probably only dance with him two or three times, for appearance's sake. That's _all_."

Dom sighed. "It's still not fair. You won't let me escort anyone, and yet-"

"_Dom_," Kel interrupted, exasperated, "If it bothers you so much, we can switch charms and _you_ can be escorted by him. _Really!_"

Dom and Kel looked each other, both slightly stunned at what she had said. Then, as one, they started laughing.

"My lady! _Really!_ _Please_ hold still long enough for me to finish your hair!"

Chastened, Kel froze and Dom crept out of the room.

* * *

Immiar was early, Dom noted with dry amusement.

"Neal," he called into Neal's room, "He's here." Neal rushed from the room, staggering a little as he tried to stop too suddenly.

"You can send him in," Dom told the maid who had announced him. She curtsied and brought the ugliest, most ratlike man Dom thought he had ever seen into the room.

"I- I am here for… for Lady Kiiala," the man all but squeaked.

_Most mouselike man,_ Dom corrected himself.

"We know," Neal said, having arranged his features into a menacing mask, "We want to talk to you for a while before we inform her that you have arrived."

"You," Dom stepped forward and pushed Immiar in the chest with a single finger. To his amusement, the man staggered under the miniscule force, "had better take hare of Ke-Kiiala. We both care about her very much. If you try _anything_ with her, one of us will _personally_ see to it that you are beaten to a pulp and then strangled and then drowned and then hanged. And then kept on bread and water for two months. Understand?"

Nervously, the little mouseman bobbed his head up and down in assent.

"Nileth, go get Kiiala." Neal grinned wickedly, and went to fetch Kel.

She was waiting for him. He noticed as she rose from the couch on which she sat that she had become much more graceful over the past month and a half they had spent here.

"He's here?"

"In all his ratlike glory," Neal affirmed.

She grinned and then winced. "I wish I hadn't said yes. I could have just said I'd _rather_ go with him or something. Do you think it's too late to take it back?"

"Yep," Neal said, wickedly cheerful. She sighed and followed him into the main room.

Immiar was waiting there, and an ecstatic look overcame his ratty little face as she entered the room.

"My- my lady! You look wonderful!"

She smiled politely at him and stared pointedly at his arm. Blushing to the roots of his greasy black hair, Immiar, offered her his arm, which she graciously took, before allowing him to escort her out of the room and to the ball.

* * *

Dom and Neal had declined to dance, preferring to watch Kel dance with her ugly partner and make sure that nothing happened.

"He's holding her too tight," Dom said fiercely, "It's entirely inappropriate."

"I agree. I can't believe she's allowing it!" Neal exclaimed.

"I suspect that she's focusing too hard on the steps to notice," Dom said, a spark of amusement returning to his voice.

"We should stop this," Neal said determinedly, apparently having ignored Dom's last comment.

"We should," Dom agreed, "she'll blow our cover. No really Lady would allow herself to be held in such a way. He's practically holding her-" Dom choked off what he had been about to say, turning an interesting shade of scarlet.

"You should cut in."

"She'd hate that, Meathead. Why don't you do it?"

"I'm betrothed," Neal said, disdainfully, "It wouldn't be right."

"Yuki wouldn't care if you danced with _Kel_," Dom said, scowling at his cousin.

"You never know," Neal sniffed.

"Oh, _fine_, I'll _do it_."

He jumped up and strode towards the dance floor where Immiar was groping poor Kel.

He seemed to cover the floor in double speed, the intricate mosaics flashing past under his feet with remarkable speed.

"May I cut in?"

Lord Immiar pouted at him. _Pouted_. Dom thought he might be sick with disgust.

"Do- _Duinar_, what are you doing?" Kel demanded.

"Cutting in." He turned to Immiar, "It's polite to step aside when a gentleman asks to cut in. I suggest you do so." For a moment, it looked as if Immiar might actually stand up to him, but then his strength broke and he scampered away, leaving Kel and Dom alone on the dance floor.

"Kel, that was horrible," Dom chided, "I hope nobody noticed him… him… ugh. I hope nobody noticed. We'd never be able to handle all the gossip."

"_Thank you_. I was about to have to slap him, and that would have caused _such_ a scene."

Dom was startled into giving her a real smile. "You're welcome," he replied, shrugging.

He led her for a few more notes until a servant approached them.

"My Lady Kiiala, Lord Duinar, Her Royal Majesty Empress Kalasin requests your presence and that of Lord Nileth immediately. I will take you to her."

Throwing silent, confused looks at each other, Dom and Kel followed him from the ballroom.

* * *

"Ah, Keladry, Domitan, Neal. I'm glad you came. I'm afraid that… I have some unfortunate news. I have received a letter from Tortall and… and… I have some unfortunate news."

The three looked at her apprehensively.

"It seems that… my father has taken my mother prisoner. All of your friends have fled to the Copper Isles and are under the King's protection. I believe he intends to wage war on Tortall within a year. And… all of your homes have been burned, except for Neal's. Duke Baird managed to raise a small army in time to fend off my father's henchmen. Tortall… is falling apart."

Empress Kalasin looked thoroughly lost. The land she loved was falling into chaos at the hands of her father, who had possibly gone insane.

"And… and Neal. I understand that you were betrothed to Lady Yukimi of the Yamani Isles?"

Neal paled visibly. "I was."

"She has declared you a traitor, and dead to her, and thus nullified your betrothal. She was married to Lord Jakol of Brokenbrook about a month after you left Tortall."

* * *

**So this is the last chapter I'm going to rewrite. Pooooorrr Neeeeaaaal. (weep). I'm going to reformat the rest of the chapters so that they match, and then I'll hopefully write a new chapter. No promises, though :p If I promise I never actually do it, lol.**


	12. Moving On

**Forgetting the Past**

Chapter 12

* * *

"The door to his room is locked. I already tried," a voice remarked from behind Domitan, currently known as Duinar. He turned his attention from Neal's door to face the former Lady Knight.

"Damn."

"Come on, we can talk in my rooms. Neal needs some time, I think."

He nodded and followed her, noting that her mask seemed more firmly in place than before, but that her eyes were dark with sorrow.

_That's right,_ he thought, somewhat surprised that he had not thought of it before, _Yukimi was her friend, too. She must feel nearly as betrayed as Neal._

Once she shut the door behind them, she began, "I can't believe Yuki would do that. It's not like her."

Dom shrugged, "I didn't know her well, but… who knows what stories they've spread about us? For all we know, everyone in Tortall that wasn't directly involved or knows someone who was thinks we murdered all the refugees and fled into Scanra, only to return and try to convince them we were actually heroes. I daresay the king could have painted a black enough picture of us to make anyone hate a person they once loved."

Kel looked thoughtful. "It's possible. I don't know that he would go to that much effort for just us, but it's definitely possible. I imagine he'd like to set himself up as the good guy."

"He's not a bad man, Kel… he's done many good things."

"No, he's not bad, but he doesn't bend enough. Do you think- there have been rumors, you know, that he's gone insane? I heard that he did something similar, but even worse, when he was a young knight. He has no right to punish me."

"But he has the power to punish you."

"Yes, he does."

They sat in comfortable, sad silence for a while, both staring out her window into the menagerie below, where a number of animals prowled about their enclosures.

"We need to leave this place. We could find someplace new that wouldn't remind Neal of Yuki, someplace he could get better," Dom finally said.

"When did you get so thoughtful?" Kel made a weak attempt at teasing.

He looked at her with eyes darkened by some unnamable emotion, and replied, "I always have been. I just hide it well."

With that, he stood and walked swiftly from her room, leaving Kel deep in thought.

* * *

Kel met with Empress Kalasin the next day, in a small but magnificent private audience chamber.

"You're sure you wish to leave, Keladry? It will be harder without my protection…" Empress Kalasin quietly said.

"Yes. Neal… Nealan needs some time to… to get over Lady Yukimi. Domitan and I hope a new home will help. Would it be… possible for you to provide passage for us? We intend to go to the Copper Isles for a time and meet with some… old friends."

"I'm well aware that these 'old friends' include Lady Alanna and Lord Raoul and several others. You have my blessing, and I'll find a place for you aboard a small shipping boat. You'll be almost impossible to track, especially if I pay them. It would appear to be a normal transaction, and I can make sure that there is no record that they provided transport for any civilians. I can also give you money to set yourselves up once you arrive."

"Thank you so much, Majesty," Kel replied in a truly grateful manner, before backing out of the small meeting room.

* * *

Despite days at sea and endless attempts to distract him, Kel and Dom could tell that he was still far, far from the lively, sarcastic young man they cared about.

On one of his particularly horrible days, Dom was looking for him in order to torture him into forgetting for a while when he stumbled across a sobbing Lady Knight. He spent about ten seconds too shocked to do anything, and then knelt on the damp boards of the deck beside her.

"Kel, what's wrong?"

Kel jumped slightly, and attempted to erase the evidence of her tears. Dom simply crossed his arms.

"I know something's wrong, and I've already seen that you've been crying, so it's no good to try and pretend. Now, _tell me_ what's wrong."

"I can't," she whispered, "I can't."

"Why not?" he asked, now confused.

She only looked at him, silent.

"Kel, you don't have to hide from everyone. You obviously haven't figured this out yet, but people _care_. They _want_ to know how you feel, so that they can help you. Please, tell me what's wrong."

"It's Neal," she said, voice barely a whisper, "No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, he's so sad. It's like… it's like Yuki killed him, and nothing can bring him back to life. What did he ever do to deserve that? Yuki was my best friend in the Isles, and now she's killed my other best friend. I can't hate her, but I want to, because she's hurt him so badly," another tear trickled from her hazel eyes, though she was obviously trying very hard to conceal it. He drew her into a warm embrace.

A thought occurred to Dom, and before he could think he blurted out, "Do you love him?"

Kel drew back, shocked. "No! Well, like a brother I suppose, but… no. Not like _that_."

He couldn't find an explanation for his relief, so he shoved the feeling aside until circumstances were better for self-evaluation.

"Oh. Sorry, I just thought, you were so upset…"

"I haven't felt that way about Neal since I was a page," she said, a small giggle bursting through the tears.

"Ewwww," Dom said, relieved to find a return to lightheartedness, "You liked the _Meathead_. That's gross. Are you quite certain you aren't insane?"

She laughed outright at this, hugged him, and stood up. After brushing a bit of dirt and crumbled seaweed from her peasant-style skirt, Kel thanked him and walked back to her damp quarters belowdeck, thinking hard.

* * *

"Land," one of the sailors called boredly. _They must have been doing this for a long time, to be so casual_, Kel thought. Grinning, she stood to fetch Dom and Neal. Hopefully, the Copper Isles would have whatever it was that Neal needed to heal properly.

* * *

Yes, you all have every right to hate me. It's been… wow, months, again. Not so many this time, but stiiiiill. Eek. I'm sorry, but I came across another writer's block, and I'm still not completely happy with this chapter.

* * *

**Speaking of this chapter, it's dedicated to Ace Ryn Knight, who in a round-about way reminded me that I actually had readers, though I don't know if s/he actually reads this story O.o. And so I decided to update. Yes……. I finally decided on the ship. If you didn't figure it out, then I'm not going to tell you.**

**Cheers, my lovely readers, and more importantly, reviews :D**


	13. Not Beautiful Enough

**Forgetting the Past**

Chapter 13

* * *

"We're lost."

"We are _not _lost, Domitan."

"Yes, we are. We need a map."

"The directions that the woman gave us were perfectly fine," Kel retorted stiffly.

"I'm not saying they weren't," Dom grinned wickedly, "I'm implying that your memory is less than perfect."

Kel shot her companion a glare. Neal had not eaten much on the journey, and noting that he was miserable and becoming ill, Kel and Dom had left him aboard the ship until they could locate their friends.

"We _really_ need a map," Dom commented once again, failing to sound innocent.

"Shut up and turn left."

Laughing, he did so.

Quite suddenly, the laughter doubled as Kel muttered "Oof." She had run into something that felt rather like a large brick wall. Opening first one eye and then the other, she found herself staring at something rough and red. With a gulp, Kel looked up to meet coal-black eyes.

The eyes widened noticeably.

"Kel?"

"Er, good day, sir," she replied awkwardly, smoothing her face to hide her own surprise.

The man stared at her for what seemed a long time before Dom coolly said, "Lord Raoul, didn't your mother teach you that staring is impolite?"

Raoul, formerly of Goldenlake and Malori's Peak, flicked his eyes towards Dom.

"Last I hear, the king was sending a squad from Company Two after _three _of you in Galla," he finally commented.

"Oh, he did. It was quite fun, especially when I revealed that I wasn't a mute," Kel replied, the corners of her mouth curling up slightly.

"Carthak was more colorful, but after Neal found out that his beloved Yukimi was married to some lord from Brokenbrook, we thought a change of scenery would do him good," Dom added.

Raoul arched an eyebrow.

"We'll tell you later," Kel quickly said, "For now, can you lead us to everyone else?"

"Of course. You're lucky I was on this side of town with, ah, friends, as it were. The rest of us are living on the other side of town, in a big house Alanna arranged for."

Dom shot Kel a triumphant grin, which she chose to ignore as they sat off after Raoul.

* * *

Kel blinked.

"_This_ is a 'big townhouse'?" Dom asked, blue eyes wider than usual.

"I might have understated myself a bit," Raoul drawled, banging on the gate.

The front of the house didn't look particularly huge, if you didn't know how far back the house went. Barred windows looked into a dining room about the size of the dining hall at Pirate's Swoop. The gate was thick wood, reinforced with iron bars, set in a frame of beautifully carved and painted stone. One the other side, a simple, ten-foot high stone wall extended to touch the walls of the next house.

A gatekeeper opened the door, bowing Raoul through the entry and looking curiously at Kel and Dom. After passing through the gate, they entered a carefully tended courtyard. As they passed the compact stables and armory, Raoul couldn't help but wonder if the two were speechless. Neither had said a word since the gate opened.

He led them through a small entrance room and elegant, if simple, sitting room.

"They were all in the library, discussing the two of you and Neal, when I left," he explained. They followed him through a door and down a small hallway, across another hallway, and into a room that was obviously the library. Several faces jerked up, and six pairs of eyes widened with surprise.

"_Kel?" _one voice asked, astonished.

"Dom?" another voice echoed.

"Er, hello," Kel said meekly, while Dom cringed.

"You're not going to arrest us, are you?" he asked, looking suspiciously at the group.

Finally Alanna gathered herself enough to speak. "Of course not. Where's Neal? Once he's here, I'll try and explain."

* * *

The house, as it turned out, was situated near the open ocean outside of Rajmuat's harbor. Neal had returned with his two friends, and Alanna, Baron George, Daine, Numair, Raoul and Buri had explained everything to the trio's satisfaction. They had been given rooms in the house –privately Kel thought that 'manor' would be a better term- and they had settled in quickly.

Just now, Kel wanted to talk to Neal. He wasn't in his room, so she set off outside of the house.

The sun was setting, only a golden glow from behind the mountains of another island when Kel found him.

He was standing atop a large boulder, looking out over the ocean as the waves crashed, unconscious of the spray created as the waves met the rock. Sighing, she climbed up behind him.

"Why, Kel?" he asked, voice filled with anguish, "Why would she marry that- that- him?"

"I don't know," was the quite reply, "I wish I did. I wish I could help you, as you've helped me so many times."

A hint of his usual, sarcastic self bubbled up as he replied, "You've repaid me about a million times over."

She smiled sadly and came to stand beside him.

"For what it's worth, she loved you very much," she whispered, almost to herself, "In the Islands, a lady gives her _shusken_ only to the man she loves with all her heart, and wishes to spend the rest of her life with." An idea occurred to Kel, and she hoped it would distract Neal from his pain for a time.

"Do you know why? There's some interesting symbolism involved, actually," she said, voice louder this time.

A spark of scholar-Neal lit up in his beautiful green eyes, so she continued, "You see, _shusken_ are used by women to protect herself, and her virtue. At age seven, each yamani noblewoman or princess is given a_ shusken_, which she must keep until her betrothal. When she is ready for marriage, she gives her _shusken_ to the man she has chosen. It's the same as saying, 'I give you the responsibility to protect me, and I give you myself.'"

"But can't they carry as _shusken_ after marriage?" he asked.

"Of course. The _shusken_ they carry after marriage are made differently," Kel answered, smiling. Soon the conversation developed into a full debate.

Hours had passed and it was long after dark when Kel yawned and announced, "It's past my bedtime, and yours too. Let's go." They stood, and Neal gave her a brief hug.

"Thanks, Kel," he said, green eyes serious. She blushed, and together they slid down from the boulder and headed for their new home.

* * *

"We have to do something. She's hurt Neal… she's hurt him so much. We _have_ to help him."

"I'm well aware of that."

"Kel… I can't stand to see him like this. I grew up with him, fishing and hunting and whacking him with a wooden sword until I was fifteen and joined the King's Own. Neal was always so full of life, even if he was the most irritating meathead ever to walk in Tortall. And now he's… just…"

Kel nodded.

"We'll find something, Dom."

"He needs a girl."

"Maybe… but one completely different from Yuki."

"And she needs to not seem as if she's after him for romantic reasons."

Kel arched and eyebrow and teased, "How long _have_ you been in the matchmaking business? That was actually a good idea."

Dom grinned sheepishly at her. "I used to give tips to my men in the King's Own. Then I realized that I couldn't even get the girl that I loved, so I stopped."

She laughed. "Lady Daria, wasn't it? The men used to talk about it when they were absolutely smashed."

He blushed and replied, "She was already betrothed. I need to get a truth stone one of these days."

"Evin Larse might let you borrow his, if he joins this lovely little group," she said with a smile.

Dom grinned in return and remarked, "I might just do that."

After several moments of comfortable silence, Kel softly said, "We'll find a way, Dom. Everything will be fine." He smiled in return, and once again they lapsed into comfortable silence.

* * *

The two immerged from Kel's room, where they'd been talking, to find the entire group seated around the largest of the dining hall's three tables.

Alanna the Lioness was gesturing with her hands and talking loudly, though just what she was saying was lost to Raoul's angry roar. Baron George was trying to calm his temperamental wife, and Neal was sitting quietly at the end, a slightly amused expression gracing his handsome face. Daine and Numair were talking quietly, trying valiantly to ignore the noise around them.

Dom cleared his throat loudly, and everyone stopped talking.

"Anyone care to tell us what this is about?" he asked dryly.

"Do you care to explain why you've spent the last half hour in Kel's room?" Raoul retorted, earning a few quiet laughs.

"Well, _actually_, Keladry and I have been having this secret- ow." He winced as Kel's open palm collided with the back of his head. Kel put on a blank expression, though her eyes shone with what might have been a smile; with just a few words from Dom and her former knight master, the atmosphere in the room had become considerably lighter. Even Neal looked a bit more cheerful.

"So, about what was going on when Dom and I arrived?" she asked.

"King Jonathan has put Thayet in one of the dungeons. A nicely dressed up dungeon, but a dungeon nonetheless. His children, with the exception of Roald, have been locked in their rooms. He caught them trying to escape and reach us," George explained bluntly. Kel was too shocked to say anything in return, and it seemed that Dom was as well.

"This is not _like _Jon," Alanna murmured furiously, "He _loves_ her, I know he does. He wouldn't ever lock her up… except he has." Frustrated, the Lioness slammed a fist down on the table in front of her.

"Lass, no one knows why he's done this. Stop fussing," George kindly told his wide, "You can't understand everything, any better'n you can control it."

Daine stood. "I don't feel well," she explained as everyone looked at her, "Don't worry, love, I'll be fine." The last was directed at her lover, who did indeed look worried. She kissed him on the cheek and silently left the room, presumably to go to sleep.

Raoul shrugged. "We'll find a way to get her out of there, Alanna," he said, "Later. When the shock has worn off and we're able to think clearly. For now, we're all safe."

Alanna sighed and stood, followed by her husband.

"I suppose I'll do just that. In the meantime, I intend to take a leaf out of Daine's book and get some sleep." She smiled shakily at all of them and left the room.

It wasn't long before everyone else did the same thing, leaving only Dom, Neal, and Kel in the room.

"Hard to believe our running away stirred up all of this, isn't it?" she asked icily, "You shouldn't have kidnapped me." Scowling, Kel stormed to her room and slammed the door.

* * *

Alanna yawned as she stumbled into the dining room for breakfast, the last one to wake. As she reached for the eggs, she noticed with some surprise that everyone else was just as grumpy and tired as she. It took a few more minutes for her sleepy mind to realize that this wasn't normal, and another few minutes to comment on it.

"Late night?" she asked as she put a few sausages on her plate and pulled it back into the position in front of her.

"You could say that," Raoul replied with a yawn of his own, "but better than Numair." The mage was missing. "Daine says he spent most of the night searching the library for spells to help rescue Thayet.

Daine nodded blearily over a bowl of cinnamon porridge and Alanna noticed that Dom appeared to be sleeping in his toast. She gulped down her food and stood.

"I, for one, am going back to bed," she informed them, and slumped from the room. As soon as she was gone, everyone straightened.

"Stefan will let you in," George said, as if continuing from a previous speech, "Is that everything?"

"George," Dom began, "What if Lady Alanna chases after us and kills us all for leaving her behind?"

The husband of the Lioness chuckled. "You just leave that to me, lad."

"Happily," was the instant reply.

"Then we leave in a week," Buri, who had been silent before, put in.

Everyone nodded.

* * *

Dom entered the room to find Alanna grinning as she read a small slip of paper.

"What's the grin about?" he asked, "It's not past noon. Aren't you supposed to be miserable or something?"

She handed him the note.

_Ma, the Balitangs are very kind. Alan, Thom and I are doing fine. They're going to pay to send Thom to mage school somewhere in the isles. The daughters, Sarai and Dove, are kind. Sarai is a bit full of herself, but Dove seems very wise. Lady Balitang has asked me to invite you to a party she is holding before they leave for the country to spend the summer. All of us will be fine._

_Love,_

_Aly_

Dom stood up and flailed his arms dramatically, beaming. "This is _perfect_. I say the women all go dress-shopping right away!"

Alanna laughed and stood. "I think we may do just that."

* * *

Kel sighed and started grumpily into the mirror. They should be refining their plans to rescue the Queen, or working to cheer Neal up, not… not _partying_. Though, she reflected, it might do Neal some good to attend a party. Maybe he'd meet a girl.

The woman reflected at her was slightly on the pretty side of plain, with pale blue color brushed over her eyelids and slight pink on her cheeks. Her hair had been pulled up in a pale blue ribbon to give it the illusion of being long but tied up. Her dress was tortallan in style, with loose, flowing silver sleeves and a pale blue bodice and skirt. The bottom of the skirt was beautifully embroidered with silver, and a silver obi graced her waist, reminiscent of her days in the Yamani Isles. A pale blue cord kept the obi firmly in place, and thinned her waist a bit.

Overall, she was passably attractive.

Sighing, she straightened her dress one last time, and emerged from her room.

The rest of the group was gathered in the dining hall, making last-minute touches to their clothes or talking animatedly. Alanna looked lovely in purple silk with a sheer lilac overdress. Buri had settled for something between casual and formal, as had Raoul. Neal was dressed simply, and Dom looked utterly heart-melting in a new, dark blue tunic with silver rope sewn at the hem, and dark breeches with matching boots. George stood next to his wife, wearing shades of brown and fawn with green accents. Kel smiled.

"Kel, you look nice," Raoul commented with a smile, and Alanna nodded her head. Dom beamed at her, and Neal actually smiled. The rest gave her their complements and returned to their individual conversations.

A few minutes later, a maid knocked on the dining hall door, and called softly, "Your carriages are here, sires and ladies."

They thanked her politely and headed through the house and out of the gate, ready for the party.

* * *

Kel sighed as she stared around the room. Alanna and George were dancing, obviously in a world of their own, while Raoul and Buri drank punch together on a nearby bench. Aly, who had been introduced to Kel earlier, was talking to a pretty blonde woman and a red-haired boy who Kel thought was her twin brother. Daine and Numair were also on the dance floor, and Kel laughed as Daine whispered something in his ear that caused him to lift her up and twirl her around. Suddenly conscious of what she was doing, she looked away, to meet the very blue eyes of Dom.

"Enjoying yourself?" he asked cheerfully.

"Mostly. Where's Neal?"

"My dear cousin is visiting the privy, I believe. He'll be back soon. Meanwhile, would you care to dance?"

"You sound just like him," she teased, and Dom made a show of dramatically clutching his heart and exclaiming, "You wound me, fair Keladry." Laughing, she followed him onto the dance floor.

As he slid one hand around her waist and took her other hand in his own, he murmured, "Have you met Kieu yet?"

"Who?" she asked, surprised.

"Kieu. The blonde with Alanna's daughter, Aly. They're friends, Aly introduced me earlier."

"Oh, her. Yes. What's she like?"

He grinned, "Fun. She's very fun. An excellent personality all around, and quite pretty to boot."

Kel fought hard to keep from sighing. It simply wasn't _fair_ that people like that were allowed to roam the earth, and especially parties.

Neal returned and tapped Dom's shoulder.

"May I cut in?" he asked. Dom shrugged and replied, "Sure. I'm off to chat with that Lady Marii." Flashing another smile and Kel, he strode off.

"What was that about?" Neal asked quietly, "You looked a bit upset."

"Nothing," she brightened, "Alianne says we can stay here as long as we like. The king isn't about to start a war, assuming he even learns we're here. His spy network fell to pieces with the disappearance of George."

"That's nice," he said, voice cooler than before. Kel winced. She hadn't meant to remind him of home. The music ended, and Kel and Neal drifted back to the edges of the dance floor. Soon Alianne approached them, the pretty Kieu at her shoulder.

"Lady Knight Keladry, Neal, I'm glad you came," she turned to look at Aly, "I've only just met you, but I feel I know you. Neal always talked about you when he used to visit Pirate's Swoop with my mother."

Kel smiled, "Glad to know I wasn't forgotten."

"Anyway, this is Kieu Tenagi. I thought she might talk to you for the rest of the night. I'm afraid I'm not feeling well, and Kieu doesn't know anyone here."

"We'd love to talk to her."

"Excellent. Thank you both. Kieu, I'll talk to you later." That said, Alianne left the room rather quickly.

"Hello," the young woman, Kieu, said, "It's a pleasure to meet you. I grew up on stories o' the Lioness and the Lady Knights of Tortall, an' just recently I overheard my sister tellin' my nephew a story about the Protector of the Small."

Kel blushed and scrutinized the girl, while Neal made polite conversation.

She hard large, dark brown eyes and pale blonde hair. She was a far cry from measuring up to Thayet, but she was quite pretty in her own right. She wore a simple, modest dress that looked peasant-made. _So she isn't wealthy,_ Kel thought. _At least she doesn't have that over me._

Out of the corner of her eye, Kel noticed Dom drifting over toward their small group. _Of course_, she thought dryly, _Dom _would_ turn up wherever the prettiest woman was_.

She sighed again and returned to paying attention to the conversation.

"Yes, my mother's from Maren, her father sold her t' pay of his debt. Da is from around here, half raka. They're excellent parents, did everythin' they could to make life as good as possible for me 'n my brothers."

Kieu's common was only slightly accented, but it was enough to reveal her to be of the lower classes, daughter of a minor merchant at most, and apparently not even that.

"What about you?" she asked Kel, "What're your parents like, t' let you become a warrior?"

"Accepting," she said coolly, standing a bit straighter. She didn't like this Kieu, not one bit. And she sensed that Kieu knew it.

"Lady Kieu, perhaps you would grace me with a dance?" a voice asked elegantly. Dom had arrived.

Kieu blushed slightly, and replied, "Of course, milord. I'd be pleased t' dance with you."

He led her onto the dance floor. Kel, realizing she was staring after them, turned to speak with Neal. To her surprise, he looked concerned.

"Are you alright?"

She blinked and said, "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You just looked a little sad," he replied, "Are you sure everything's okay?"

"Yes… mostly. I guess I just fill a little lonely," she admitted.

He arched his eyebrow, "Then go get a man."

She tried very hard to suppress her giggles at that, and nearly succeeded.

"You realize how hilarious that sounded, right?"

"Yes," he sheepishly replied, "But it's the truth. Why don't you?"

A great sadness filled Kel's eyes as she softly said, "I guess I'm just not beautiful enough."

* * *

**Hey, and update in only a week and a half. Be proud of me. And a long one (for me) too. Muahahahaha. Anyways, updated will probably be coming a bit slower than this one did (but faster than they used too) because I'm going to be rewriting the first eleven chapters of this story. I've been thinking about it for almost a month now, and a review decided me the other day.**

**I'll let you know when all the rewritten chapters are up ;)**

**Also, if you care enough to want to know what progress I'm making, maybe get a few spoilers and sneak peeks, or just want to complain about what a slow updater I am, you should visit my livejournal. My username is raindancerxx.**

**That is all :) Thank you to all of my lovely reviewers- I cherish each and every review!**


	14. Going Home

**Forgetting the Past**

Chapter 14

* * *

"Lord Domitan, I hope this won't upset Lady Keladry. She doesn't seem to like me much, and-"

Lord Domitan grinned handsomely at the common-born girl he was dancing with.

"Lady Kieu, don't worry about Kel. She'll come around in time. Meanwhile, I have a favor to ask of you."

Kieu scowled, certain she knew what the favor was. Just because she was a commoner! Why did all noblemen seem to think she would happily give over her virtue as a "favor"?

Lord Domitan apparently understood her expression. "Nothing like that!" he exclaimed, "No no no no no. I did _not_ mean it like that!"

His obvious horror at her belief that he had been asking for a trip to her bed calmed Kieu.

"I just…" he continued, "Well, I guess I'm asking you a really huge favor and I hardly know you, but I'm hoping you'll help. Neal- my cousin, Lord Nealan- has just learned that his fiancée married another man. I was hoping you would… would flirt a bit with him, you know." Domitan had turned a deep red and Kieu frowned.

"I don't really think that that's appropriate. You wouldn't ask that of a noblewoman, I'd bet," Kieu frowned.

"Well… probably not," Domitan admitted, "They're too stuck up to do anyone favors, and most of them look a bit like her and that simply wouldn't do. I had hoped that as a commoner, you'd be more generous. Furthermore," his grin became charming, "you're one of the most beautiful women in the room. Surely that will help."

"_One_ of the most beautiful?" Kieu asked, a bit wounded. She knew very well she was the lovliest woman present.

"_The_ most beautiful to most," Dom amended, "I'm just kind of biased. It's all in the eyes of the beholder, right?"

Kieu thought back to the look of dislike in Lady Kel's eyes.

"Oh. I guess that explains a bit. Thank'ye for asking me. I'll… I will consider it."

* * *

"So, my lovely Keladry, I see you are making friends with the birds in the Copper Isles already."

Kel turned to him, forcing a hint of a smile to her face. She was not in the mood for his flirtations. Neal was still agonizing over Yuki and she just _didn't know what to do_.

"All right, let's have it, what's wrong?" Dom demanded, his startlingly blue eyes very serious. "Even _I_ can tell you're upset."

"Nothing's wrong, Dom," she said cooly. "I guess I'm just tired from the party last night. What did you think of Lady Kieu Tenagi?"

"She's very pretty," Dom replied guarded, "One of the prettiest ladies there."

"I'd say she was _the_ prettiest," Kel said, carefully.

"I wouldn't." She turned to face him, surprised by the odd look in his eyes. He shook his head and his eyes cleared.

"In any case, she looks absolutely _nothing_ like Yuki. Her hair's blonde and curly, her skin's tan, and her eyes are a very different shade of brown. I asked her if she would do me a favor and flirt – just flirt- a bit with Neal. What do you think?"

"When did you _ask_ her that?" Kel asked, too surprised to hide it.

He raised an eyebrow. "Why else did you think I asked her to dance, Kel?"

She grinned. "But Dom, you always ask the pretty girls to dance."

"Of course I do," he replied grandly, "why would I dance with ugly girls?"

Kel forced herself to keep smiling as she replied, "Why dance with ugly girls indeed? You'd only get their hopes up and then disappoint them. I have to go now, I'm supposed to help Neal and Numair look up spells." She left as quickly as possible, hoping Dom wouldn't actually ask Neal or Numair about her supposed help.

She strode down the hall, grateful that most of the residents of this house were still asleep. She just wanted to be in her room to think, as soon as possible. She almost knocked a bench in the dining room over in her haste to be in her room, but finally she was there. She closed to door softly behind her and sunk down against the white-washed wall until she sat on the fine wooden floor.

_Why does it matter what I look like _now_, of all times. I haven't let it bother me since I was little and my sister-in-law said I looked like a cow. I got over it. I am yamani, a calm lake. Calm, like the Marble Gardens in Carthak. Nothing disturbs me._

_Except that stupid, stupid, stupid sergeant and his stupid carelessness. It's not that I care what he thinks. It's just that he constantly seems to point out that I'm ugly, so much uglier than all those stupid court girls he admires so. He makes me want to be beautiful and makes it clear that I'm not!_

One_ of the prettiest ladies, he said. And then he looked at me so oddly. Could he mean…_

Her thoughts were interrupted by someone banging on her door. She winced, sure it would be him, and without thinking shouted for him to go away. He merely knocked again. Kel scowled and stood. She allowed herself a single deep breath as she scrambled for an excuse, before opening the door slowly.

Hazel eyes met her own, not the blue she had expected. It was Baron George, the Lioness' husband.

She blinked. "I beg your pardon, I was expecting someone else," she stammered. He smiled at her.

"No harm done. I came to tell you that we're leaving on the morrow. They've found a spell to keep Jonathan at bay long enough to free Thayett and the children from the prison. Neal, Numair and Kieu-"

"Kieu? Tenagi is going?" Kel interrupted.

"Yes, of course," Baron George replied, frowning. "Aly claims she's an excellent mage, and I trust my daughter in these matters. She will assist Neal and Numair in casting the spell."

"Of course. Go on."

"You and Dom will remain with them and make sure they are able to get back to the ship, while Raoul, Buri and Daine infiltrate the dungeons and get Thayet. We'll go into more detail aboard the ship, but we don't dare do too much planning with Alanna about." Baron George winked at her, and Kel found herself giving him a small smile.

"We wouldn't want to alert Lady Alanna, of course," she said with a smile. "I'll be packed in the morning. At what hour are we leaving?"

"Two hours before sunrise. Alanna will _never_ wake up." Kel smiled and acknowledged this with a nod. Baron George walked away, doubtless to inform the next person and Kel wordlessly closed her door.

_Tomorrow_.

* * *

She was in that foggy place just between sleep and wakefulness when someone knocked quietly on her door. She slowly opened her eyes and sat up. Running her fingers through her hair in an attempt to make it decently presentable, she took the five short steps from her bed to her door and opened it, regarding Neal's sad face with a yawn.

"Goodmorning, sleepy," he said, but his voice lacked the sarcastic playfulness she was used to.

"It's morning!" Kel exclaimed, losing her composure for a moment, "Gods, I haven't even begun to pack yet-" she turned and began to dash back into her room as Neal let out a low, rare laugh.

"It's just an expression, Kel. It's midafternoon." Kel sagged in relief and let out a sigh.

"Don't ever scare me like that again, or else—" she threatened, but allowed herself a smile.

"Me? Never." _At least he's saying things he used to say, even if his sarcasm is rather flat_, she thought to herself.

"Want to help me pack?" she finally asked, hoping to distract him.

"Sure."

They packed her things in companionable silence, until Neal suddenly began to sputter incomprehensibly. Kel turned around to find him holding up a blue breastband with a look of utter terror on his face. She couldn't help herself. She began to laugh uncontrollably.

"Your… face…" she gasped between fits of laughter, "Oh Neal… your face!" Recovering from his embarrassment and shock, Neal let out a low laugh.

"Maybe you'd better pack this drawer." Kel collapsed into fits of laughter again.

Finally she calmed down enough to pack her breastbands and loincloths into the small chest and arrange a layer of tunics over them so that Neal was willing to help her pack again.

"It seems so odd," she said absently as they folded the last of her shirts. "After all this time, we're going home. I didn't think I'd ever see home again. I may still never see my parents or my other friends again. Nothing will ever be the same again, will it?"

"No," Neal replied, his voice quiet and serious, "nothing will ever be the same again. I wish I hadn't agreed to leave."

"I wish you and Dom weren't such idiots. I wasn't _going _to leave."

"Who are _you_ calling an idiot? " Dom's voice drawled from the doorway. "I think I'm a little bit insulted, Keladry."

Kel smiled a bit sadly up at him. Dom joined her and Neal on the floor, placing Kel's folded shirts into the chest. No words were needed as the three reflected on what tomorrow might bring.

* * *

Kel awoke to a nearly inaudible knock on her door. Silently, she padded over to her wardrobe and removed a set of casual clothes. She slipped into them, the cloth sliding over her body with only the barest of whispers in the dark room, but left her boots off. She brushed her hair and tied it behind her head –it was nearly to her waist now, and she thought that she simply _must_ cut it soon- and washed her face with a damp rag, afraid that any splashing might alert Alanna that the household was awake. Then she picked up her boots and her trunk and crept out to join the others in the dining room.

Several pairs of bleary eyes regarded her sleepily. Dom seemed to be sleeping, using his bag of belongings as a pillow, and several others looked as if they wanted to follow suit.

"Where's Daine?" Kel asked, her voice barely a whisper.

"She's not feeling well," Numair responded, equally as quiet. "Waking up so early evidently does not agree with her. She'll be out in a minute."

Just as he finished whispering, Daine emerged from the room. She did indeed look rather ill, and she was carrying a larger bag than anyone else.

"Let's go. We'll get breakfast on the way," she whispered, and they turned to follow Raoul out of the house.

By the time the sun rose, they were strolling by the docks, each person cradling a few pastries in their hands. They would have a small ship, provided by the Baron and Baroness' new friend Lord Balitang, for its remarkable speed. They would be to Tortall and back in no time at all.

Despite her expectations of a cramped voyage, Kel was startled when the ship came into view. Could they possibly all _fit_ on that little dingy, let alone share with a crew?

Dom voiced her concerns. "We're going to have to hold our breath the entire way across. We might as well _swim_." The others chose not to reply.

Once on board, it was clear that the ship was larger than it had appeared next to the gigantic ships of grain merchants. It would still be crowded, but they would be able to manage.

The crew had provided three rooms for them, which were quickly divided between the seven passengers. Buri and Raoul would share a room (no one was quite brave enough to comment on this), Daine and Numair would share a room, and Neal, Dom and Kel would all share a room.

"That's hardly proper," Numair had said, frowning, "Keladry should not have to share a room with two grown men." He hung a curtain around one of the cots in the cabin, for which Kel had thanked him profusely.

* * *

She awoke to a thump and a moan coming from the floor on the opposite side of the tiny cabin she was sharing with Dom and Neal. Carefully, she opened the drapes around her cot a crack to reveal Dom sitting on the floor, rubbing his head. She couldn't see his expression in the dark, but she had no doubt he was scowling.

She shrugged and lay back down on the cot.

However, Dom kept rolling over and over on the floor, obviously not brave enough to face the bed again, and the rustling noise kept her awake. Finally, irritated beyond measure, she thrust the drapes open again.

"Dom," she hissed, "_What is wrong_?"

Dom grunted in surprise. After a long pause, he whispered, "Neal kicked me off the bed. It hurt. I'm too afraid to get back up."

Kel suppressed a sigh.

"You're keeping me awake," she whispered accusingly.

"Sorry. This floor is not particularly comfortable."

"Oh fine, you big baby, get up here."

"Huh?"

"You can share my bed. Don't get any ideas."

Dom scrambled up off the floor as she scooted over.

"No stealing the blankets," she commanded as he joined her.

"Me? Never! Thank you, Kel."

"You're welcome. 'Night, Dom."

"Good night, Kel."

* * *

**Wow… it's been quite a while, hasn't it? I'm not even going to try and guess how long. I don't want to think about it.**

**And I'm not even going to say you can expect regular updates, because that's not the case. Read my userpage (or whatever it's called—I can't even remember! Eep) for more information.**

**But I still love you all, I swear. And I will attempt to update more often. No promises, though, and certainly not for November. I'm going to try to write a novel for NaNoWriMo :D**


	15. Land

**Forgetting the Past**

Chapter 15

* * *

Kel's first instinct, when she awoke to Neal's frantic voice, was to leap out of bed. However, Dom seemed to be in the way.

"Whassit?" she slurred, wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep.

"Keladry!" Neal. "Dom is _missing_! What if he jumped overboard?! What if-"

"Calm down, Neal, I'm fine." Dom's calm voice interrupted. His eyes were still closed.

Without preamble, Neal ripped the curtains out of his way.

"_Dom?_ What are you doing in _Keladry's_ bed?"

"You kicked me out." Dom still did not open his eyes. "Now go away. You're interrupting my beauty sleep." Unceremoniously, Neal tipped the bed and Kel and Dom both crashed to the floor.

"Owww. Whaddya do that for?" Kel, who had nearly been asleep again, whined.

"_Why were you two sharing a bed?"_

"I already told you, Neal," Dom explained crossly, glaring up at his cousin from his position on the floor, "You _kicked me off the bed_, and I couldn't sleep on the floor so I was rolling around and it irritated Kel, so she offered to share. She's generous, unlike _some_ people I know."

Neal simply hmphed.

Kel simply rolled her eyes at their exchange.

"Neal, don't kick Dom off the bed anymore. Dom, next time you sleep on the floor. You kick too. In any case, there won't be room- Kieu Tenagi's arriving today on a small, fast ship. She had to wait to join us for some reason."

Dom's eyes brightened. "Tenagi? Excellent."

Kel frowned at him, stood up, and did her best to brush the floor's grime off of her nightgown.

"Shoo, both of you. I need to get dressed."

Dom and Neal fled to the other side of her drapery.

* * *

"Welcome aboard, Mistress Tenagi," the captain agreed as Kieu carefully dragged herself over the side of the ship.

"Thank you, Captain Tirta," she replied, equally formal. "Where might I find Master Salmalín and Lord Raoul?"

"Ah, they're belowdeck. You… may not want to disturb them."

Kieu peered curiously at him until she realized what he meant. She blushed scarlet.

"Oh… oh. I'll, ah, I'll wait."

"I could show you to your quarters, if that is your wish." The captain bowed politely.

"Please." Quietly, Kieu followed him. He led her belowdeck, down a simple hallway and then down another one to the left, before they arrived at a whitewashed door.

"You will be sharing this room with Lord Nealan, Lord Domitan and Lady Keladry," the captain informed her respectfully, "Master Salmalín has made sure there is a curtain to ensure your privacy and that of Lady Keladry."

She nodded. _Sharing a room with Lord Nealan _and _Lord Domitan! How awkward!_

The captain left her then, and she timidly knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" a woman's voice called from inside the room.

"Kieu. Kieu Tenagi," she answered, forcing herself to speak loudly.

"Oh. Just a moment." Lady Keladry opened the door. Lord Domitan and Lord Nealan peered curiously from behind her shoulders.

"The… the captain said I was to share quarters with you. But isn't it improper for men and women to share a room?"

Lady Keladry shrugged. "We don't really have much of a choice." A rare smile graced her face. "I'm afraid Lord Raoul and Buri are more in favor of sharing a room than serving as chaperones. If it really upsets you, we can kick Neal and Dom out and make them sleep on the deck."

"No… I… that's fine with me, Lady Keladry."

"Please, if we're to share quarters, you should call me Kel. I'm sure Dom and Neal would like you to call them by their nicknames, as well." Lord Domitan and Lord Neal – _Dom and Neal_, she corrected herself- nodded in agreement. But she would continue to call the noblewoman Lady Keladry. Despite her politeness, she was certain the woman did not like her.

"You can put your trunk here," Dom said, pointing to an empty space between what was obviously Keladry's trunk and another that could be either his or Neal's. "We actually thought you'd be a bit later, so you caught us in the middle of a fight."

Lady Keladry snickered and Dom shot her a wicked grin. Neal looked grumpy.

"I take it Neal is not winning," Kieu commented, surprised at her own boldness. These were nobles! And not nobles like Aly, who was as good and humble as the commonfolk, either.

"No, he's not, for the simple reason that he had no grounds to be angry," Lady Keladry said, giving Kieu the first real smile she had seen. _Perhaps I will call her Kel after all._

Kel turned to Dom. "But you're not sleeping in my bed again, sergeant." Dom replied with a mock solute, and Kieu regarded them with shock.

"I… you…"

Kel turned scarlet, apparently realizing where Kieu's line of thought had gone. "Not like _that_, Kieu. Neal kicked him off their bed and I let him sleep with me on mine. Just _sleep_."

"Oh." _Still, that's so inappropriate. _She looked at Kel thoughtfully. _Perhaps she's not as stuck-up and prideful as I had thought._

"Are you done evaluating me? Not that I mind, but I am rather hungry, and breakfast is probably getting cold."

"Oh," Kieu repeated, feeling foolish, "Of course. I haven't eaten yet. I'll just… follow you all." They filed out of the room, Kieu lost in thought.

* * *

"So, Kel, do I have to fight you for blackmail rights with the Riders or will you, out of the pure goodness of your heart, let me have them?"

"Dom, what are you talking about?"

"Buri has been throwing up over the rail every day. I daresay she'd _hate_ her Riders to know. We men of the King's Own like blackmail against the Queen's Riders. It has a tradition to it."

"Dom… it seems you've forgotten one very important detail."

Dom blinked his very blue eyes at her. "What?"

"You're not in the King's Own anymore, and Buri doesn't command the Riders."

"Oh… I guess you're right. Damn."

She laughed, her face lighting up, and even Dom had to grin.

"Well, can I have blackmail rights on reserve, just in case… in case something happens, and things go back to the way they were."

She grinned back at him. "Sure, Dom. I'm too afraid of Buri to try and blackmail her."

"I'm glad to hear it, young Keladry," an amused voice commented from behind them. Dom and Kel whipped around to see Buri standing there, and Dom cringed.

"I'll have you know that I have a list of the ladies you've courted, including those that you courted at the same time. I'd be happy to release it to our lovely court ladies if you try to blackmail me." This remark was directed at Dom, who sighed.

"Oh all right, you win," he said, a slight pout on his lips. Buri grinned broadly at him, white teeth flashing.

As Buri turned to leave, Kel giggled ever so slightly.

"Told you so."

"Shut up."

* * *

"I hate ships," Kel commented, sitting next to Neal. "They're so… boring."

Neal nodded at her, cheeks bulging with food. _At least he's eating again_.

"Have you been briefed on the entire plan, yet?"

Neal nodded once again, and swallowed his food.

"Yes. Master Salmalín told me."

"Good. I really didn't want to have to." She stood and turned to leave.

"Kel-" Neal called her back, and she turned to face him.

"Yes, Neal?"

"Do… do… is there… will Yuki be there?" His lips were thin with pain.

"I… don't know, Neal. I hope not."

"I hope she is. I just want… to see her one more time."

Kel nodded solemnly, and sat beside him.

They sat there in silence until the bell rang for supper, and crew and friends streamed into the ship's galley to be fed.

* * *

"Land!" The call echoed down the length of the ship, causing every head on deck to rise and number of people to come spilling out of the entrance to the belly of the ship.

As the crew and passengers lined up at the side of the ship, staring out at the thin line on the horizon, Kel found herself shoved between Dom and Neal.

"I don't believe it," Dom breathed, "We're finally home. We're _home_."

"Home."

* * *

**I'm hoping to see a few more reviews this time. Love the favs and alerts, but I love reviews just as much ;) I usually reply, and it makes me really, really want to update. In fact, I started updating again because the reviews asking/begging me to do so finally piled up so much I couldn't ignore it anymore :p**

**As much as I love Duke Baird as a character, I really want him to die. Because I'm absolutely dying to refer to Neal as "Duke Nealan" –giggle-**

**Also, I was immensely amused to receive a flame telling me how a drabble I posted earlier this week "undermined the whole idea of female empowerment" from a person too cowardly to flame me under their actual username. I love hypocrites. They provide me no end of amusement :) Especially when they're also too dumb to realize that girls need help too, sometimes. (The drabble is called Savior, if you're curious, and you're welcome to flame along with her, though I'd prefer it if you used your real username.)**

**To be fair, the flamer did make some points, and I can see where she's coming from. But "undermining George's integrity"? Please. He's a thief. I love him to tiny, tiny pieces, but he's a thief and his patron is the **_**Trickster**_**. Have we forgotten the incident in which he tricked and drugged Alanna before her Ordeal so quickly?**

**I'm all for gender equality. Men and women are clearly equals. The keyword in that is **_**equals**_**. Women are no better than men as a whole, just as men are no better than women.**

**Ahem. Sorry for that rant. But really, even Alanna's gotta be saved sometimes, right?**

**So, um, yeah.**

6


	16. Loss

**Forgetting the Past**

Chapter 16

* * *

"We've a change of plans, everyone."

Kel looked up from the table where she sat and frowned at the man in the entrance of the inn.

"Well, Domitan, what's happened?" Buri demanded from her spot several spaces down the table.

"It seems Queen Thayet and the children have escaped with the help of Roald. I'm trying to learn of what's happened since then, but no one seems to know."

"Perhaps she'll go back to Sarain?" Numair suggested calmly at the same time Buri loudly demanded that Dom repeat what he had just said.

"No one has any idea where she's gone," Dom answered Numair, before turning to Buri, "Prince Roald helped Thayet and the other children escape," he repeated.

"She won't go to Sarain," Buri said with certainty, "She would never go back there. She won't go to Scanra, either. My guess would be Maren, by way of the Great Desert and Tyra. She'll catch a ship there and sail to the farthest shore of Maren if she can."

Everyone stared at Buri, and she shrugged. "I know how Thayet thinks."

"Should we investigate matters here?" Numair asked. "Something is wrong in this country."

Everyone frowned as they pondered this.

"I will stay, with Numair and Daine," Raoul finally said. "I know Jon better than anyone else that's with us, and Numair can work what magic we need while Daine learns some of what we need to know. The rest of you can try to find Thayet. Buri is right- Thayet will probably go to Maren by way of Tyra. Jon knows that she did not like her visits there as a child, and would never assume that she'd chose to live there now. Especially… especially not in the state he's in now."

Now Neal spoke up. "I would like to stay here, as well. I can help."

"We'll need a mage with us too, Neal," Buri said sternly. Neal shook his head.

"Dom can do some minor magic, though I doubt he's ever mentioned it to any of you. He's not much, but he'll be better than nothing. I _need_ to stay here."

Kel and Dom looked at each other for a few moments, communicating silently. Finally, Kel nodded.

"I agree. It would be best for Neal to stay here. I think we'll do fine without a mage. Neal can't do much more than heal, in any case, which is more likely to be needed here than on the way to Maren."

"I, too, would like to remain," Kieu said quietly, "I was sent to work in Tortall and hopefully remedy the poison eating at the roots of the country. I have no desire to travel to Maren following a queen that I do not care for. I will stay here and work with Master Neal, Master Samalin, and the Lady WIldmage."

No one could argue, and they finally agreed that Neal ought to remain here.

"He's not really in a state fit to travel, is he?" Buri commented to Kel later, when Neal was gone, "Numair and Daine will take good care of him. And maybe he'll find some answers."

* * *

The desert was so still at night. Not a single hawk or eagle or whatever bird inhabited the desert disturbed the clear sky. It was late at night, but somehow still very bright. Kel sat on the sand behind her tent, staring up at the stars.

She had liked being a Lady Knight. She had enjoyed her life in Tortall. And now she was once again close to it, dashing off on an appropriately knightly mission to save the queen, back in Tortall for the first time in nearly six months. She was enjoying herself immensely. But she had also liked being a simple farm woman looking after children. While they had lived in Galla she had, for the first time in her life, seriously considered being a mother one day. And she had discovered that, in some ways, she enjoyed being a lady while they lived in the palace in Carthak. She wanted all of those things, so badly, almost enough to give up her knighthood for. Still, she did not regret it. Over all of those desires, she still wanted to be a knight more than anything. She was meant to be a knight. She had just… she had never thought to get a taste of what she would never have in that life, never thought she'd have to miss the things her life would lack.

She sighed and curled her knees up, resting her chin on them.

The stars were so bright in the desert.

Slowly, she became aware of a presence behind her.

She turned to find Dom standing there, watching her quietly. Without making a noise, she motioned him to sit next to her. He did so, equally quiet.

They sat there, neither of them saying anything, for a long time, until finally Kel stood up, brushed the sand from her breeches, gave Dom a rare, full smile and crawled back into her tent.

* * *

The traveled across the desert very quickly, and reached Tyra within a fortnight. In less than a month after their arrival in Tortall, they were on a large ship bound for Stalan, in the far east of Maren. They hoped to find Thayet there, or in one of the many small villages nearby. It shouldn't be too hard to track the most beautiful woman alive and her slew of children. In Tyra they had confirmed that Thayet had taken a ship to the far east, though the actual name Stalan had not been mentioned. Still, they could always work their way back west if they failed to find their queen there.

"Is it just me, or does it seem as if we spend all our time aboard ships these days?" Dom asked, coming to stand next to Kel.

"It does, doesn't it?" she groaned, "Even _I'm_ starting to get seasick, and I spent half my childhood sailing between isles with the Yamani."

He grinned at her. "Oh, but you did _so much better_ than Buri and Daine. They were both sick as dogs on the way to Tortall, and Buri is even worse now. "

"Daine wasn't seasick. Didn't you notice that she only threw up in the mornings?"

Dom blinked at her, and silently thought this over.

"OH! You mean… _oh_."

Kel rolled her eyes at him.

"Really, you deserve the name Meathead more than your meathead cousin."

"I resent that."

She laughed quietly.

Buri waddled over, clutching her stomach and looking rather green in the face.

"Gods, it's no wonder Alanna avoids ships like the plague. I've never been so sick in my _life!_"

Dom and Kel grinned at her.

"You're lucky you have blackmail against _me_," Dom said, sighing dramatically. "This would be _such _great blackmail if you didn't."

"Too bad, whelp," Buri retorted.

"Do you really think we'll find the queen in Stalan?" Kel asked, after a minute or so of silence. Buri shrugged.

"Maybe not _in_ Stalan, but nearby. "

* * *

Dom sat near the captain of the ship, staring down over the deck as the wheel click-clicked while the captain turned the rudder. Kel was leaning against the rail again, staring out over the ocean. Her hair was ridiculously long, he thought, especially compared to the chin-length cut she'd kept as a squire. He had once heard her explain to Buri that she hadn't been able to find time to cut it ever since they had left Tortall, seven months ago now. Buri had offered to cut it before, but Kel had –her voice betraying only a _little_ mistrust in Buri's skills as a hairdresser- declined, saying she would get it cut sooner or later. Another gust of wind blew that hair to the side, revealing Kel's face. It wasn't a pretty face, exactly, he reflected, but… attractive, maybe. He grimaced as he realized where his thoughts were taking him. He had suppressed his interest in her as a squire, at first because she was too young and then because she was with Cleon. Besides, it had been only a passing interest.

He had hoped.

But now, watching her hum quietly and tunelessly to herself, he found himself wondering more about her. He thought he knew her very well, better than many of her friends, but did he really? He mostly understood her, but he knew very little about her past, and next to nothing about her dreams. Did Kel, Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan, have any dreams? Did she hope for things that she could never have, like the rest of them? Sometimes it was so hard to think of her as another person, because she kept so much behind that lovely yamani mask.

Shaking his head, Dom rid his head of thoughts of Kel. She had enough to think about; surely she didn't need an errant sergeant pondering her life as well.

"How much farther to Stalan?" Dom asked the captain.

"Another week if the wind stays well, lad."

"Thank you."

* * *

When the storm hit, neither Dom nor Kel were expecting it. Buri was, but only because she had overheard the sailors discussing it, and been on deck when the frantic preparations to find land began. The word that gives terror to any sailor –_hurricane-_ danced across lips with a sort of fearful reverence. The air seemed unnaturally still and calm and quiet, but the clouds were now menacing in the distance, and Buri began to realize what they were in for. She hurried belowdeck, and woke Kel just as the first storm waves began to rock the boat violently.

Kel, Dom and Buri rushed to the deck together, only to be shooed back down by sailors with curse words and exclamations that landspeople were absolutely _useless. _They sat belowdeck in the larger cabin Kel and Buri were sharing, wincing as the boat groaned around them and water crept through the walls and the ceiling. The ship tilted underneath them, and Dom, who sat on the floor, occasionally slid a few feet in either direction. Buri and Kel clung to the mattress as still they sat, silent, refusing to voice their fear.

"Damn boats," Buri would whisper, from time to time.

Still the storm worsened around them.

* * *

Kieu was reasonably talented at most magicks, but her best ability was Seeing. She sat before the fire in the spacious rooms Master Numair had rented for them. She had sought for Thayet, only to discover that the queen and her children were shielded from sight by magic far more powerful than her own.

Now, as the night fell outside, she stared into the fire once again, this time seeking visions of Mistress Buri, and Lady Kel and Lord Dom. According to Master Numair they should be aboard a ship by now, though personally Kieu couldn't see how anyone could cross that _dreadful desert_ in such short time.

Slowly a picture built up in the flames. There was ocean, and an unfamiliar shore far in the distance, an in the water… remains of a ship floating scattered about, not a sign of life anywhere. Kieu felt herself begin to shake, but it was too late to pull away from the vision. She recognized a portion of Kel's trunk floating on the waves, and a few clothes that she recognized as Buri's were draped, soaking, across what appeared to be part of the mast. Any sign of Dom had long since drifted below the dark concealing waves.

Still the vision stayed with her, as her shaking turned into sobs. She could see a man now, draped across a piece of the boat, still and silent. Her brain refused to comprehend the gaping hole and seeping red liquid that her eyes could not turn away from. Slowly, she picked out two other men, white crusty salt dried on their faces, both with similar wounds gaping at her like rotting mouths no longer able to speak.

Finally, the vision left her with an abrupt snap, and she was left weeping on the floor. Slowlyshe gathered herself enough to stand. Lord Neal and Master Numair must be told.

Silently, she trudged down the hall of the inn to the door behind which Lord Neal would be sorting through reports of the gossip that Daine had acquired. She was still shaking, she realized, and commanded her body to stop. It did not listen.

"Lord Neal?" she asked timidly, knocking on the door.

"Come in," his voice called from the room.

She entered, silent and shaking once again, and Neal finally looked up. Concern flashed over his features.

"Are you well? I am a healer, you know. Tell me what's wrong."

Mutely, she shook her head. Tears threatened to overflow once again as the man, his side gaping open with some unimaginable wound, floated through her head.

"Tengai, you must speak to me. What's wrong?"

"L-lady K-k-kel. And L-lord Dom and B-b-b-b-buri." Neal's gaze intensified, changing from worry to inquiry.

"Kieu, what has happened? Tell me at once."

"I s-s-s-saw them in-in-in the f-fire. The sh-sh-sh-ship s-s-s-sunk, Neal!" she wailed, giving in to the sobs again. "There w-w-w-were d-d-d-dead men, everyw-w-w-where. So much b-b-b-blood."

After a few seconds her sobs abated, and she was able to look at Neal.

He stood in the same position as when he had demanded to know what had happened, completely still. His face had lost all trace of color. Less upset and able to focus on something academically now, Kieu watched as the already-broken man _shattered_ before her eyes. And then, still without moving, she watched as he swiftly pulled himself back together. He shoved the pain –she could not imagine his pain, losing his two best friends after losing the love of his life- to somewhere deep inside of him, and slowly walked towards her and the door.

"Please," he said, looking down at her from a few inches away, "Let Numair know. We will discuss what to do once Daine returns. Thank you… thank you for letting me know."

She nodded and left, shutting the door behind her and marveling at the strength of a man able to pull himself together after so much loss.

* * *

Daylight found Nealan of Queenscove on a cliff by the sea, salt-laden water spraying around him as it hit the rocks at this low part of the cliff. He was seated, the gangly legs that he had never quiet outgrown draped over the cliff's side and wet with spray.

He wasn't thinking about anything in particular –in fact, he was trying very hard _not_ to think of anything in particular- but merely allowing memories to drift through his mind.

His first loss had been his eldest brother, far away in the north, as immortals swept their land, leaving terror in their wake. They had not been close, but still he remembered the piercing pain the tears that had overcome him as he was told that the brother who had taught him to read his first book would never walk the earth again.

His second loss had hurt worse, and less. He had not liked his father's second son, who had been the fierce bully that first taught Neal survival through sarcasm, but he had loved him. They were brothers, after all. There were so many things that he had still needed to tell him. Most of them had been unpleasant, admittedly, but still words left unsaid. At the death of his second eldest brother, Neal learned that another emotion could accompany loss; regret.

He had lost one more brother, the youngest, to a childhood disease just before he became a squire. The little boy was just barely a year old, and Neal had only spent a single summer with him. He wasn't even told until he returned home after his tests. Little children died all the time, after all. He had learned at that death to wish for what might have been, and taught himself not to picture what the future ought to have been like for the tiny little body resting in its tiny grave.

He had lost many acquaintances in the Scanran War, but Neal was not a naturally attached person. He had viewed their deaths with some sadness and a renewed desire to beat King Maggot into a pulp, but nothing more.

Then he had lost Yuki, to a fate worse than death.

Words could not describe the sudden feeling of emptiness, as if one of the killing machines that had threatened them once upon a time had barreled through him, leaving him without a body. Yuki was no longer his- by her own choice. She truly believed so little of him that she honestly thought he had betrayed his country.

But then, he had, hadn't he? He had run like a coward to save his own life and, worse, forced Kel to run too. For the first time, he began to understand Kel's anger with him.

Surely it would have been better to be dead than to feel this loss?

Now Kel and Dom, at least, were free from the pain.

He had lost all that he held dear.

* * *

**DON'T WORRY, IT'S NOT OVER YET!**

**OMG, NEARLY THREE THOUSAND WORDS OF MORBIDNESS! My poor readers. But this was necessary, I assure you. I'm not even going to say I'll **_**try**_** to update soon, because if I do, I won't update for another ten months like this last time. So no updates for you. Ha, take that.**

**Thank you for all the reviews you have continued to give me despite my absolute lack of updates (heart) I do read them, and I do appreciate them.**

**So read and review this chapter!!**

**Also, if you're just reading this as an update and haven't read the entire story for a while, please do so. I just rewrote more or less the entire thing yesterday. Kudos!**

**Annmarie**


	17. The Mistake

**Forgetting the Past**

Chapter 17

* * *

_Kel was standing by the window in her rooms, staring out into the courtyard in a dress he had never actually seen on her, the one she had been meant to wear as Yukimi's bridesmaid. She had shown it to him, a few minutes after a messenger delivered it to her quarters in Haven. Pale yellow silk with small yellow flowers scattered across it, and long open sleeves. There had been a jacket too, pale blue and white stripes on heavy silk that matched the border at the bottom of the full skirt. He had teased her, then, about such a pretty dress. Now he could see that it brought out the highlights in her short hair, tied back with blue ribbons, and gave her a femininity that he had never before noticed._

_She turned and smiled at him, and held out a hand. Dazedly, the took it, and she led him out of the door to her room. Instead of the narrow, dark hallway of headquarters at Haven, he found himself in their small cottage in Galla. His hand was empty; Kel was nowhere in sight. Then, as clearly as if they had been next to each other, he heard her voice through the thin wooden door. Without a thought he strode to it, pushing it open to find Kel, surrounded by giggling children from the village. She was smiling tenderly as they begged for another story. Suddenly, she looked up at him, her long-lashed dreamer's eyes boring into his own. The world around those beautiful eyes shuddered and became the brightly colored interior walls of a tent. Kel immediately looked away from him towards the entrance, where a young man's voice was calling her._

_Dom shook his head, trying to make sense of this dream- it had to be a dream- and realized that they were in the tent where Kel had slept during the king's Progress. It seemed like so many years ago._

_  
"Coming, Cleon. Stop making such a fuss," he heard her say. The redheaded giant entered her tent and swept her up, kissing her fiercely. Neither seemed aware of his presence, and as he remained unable to look away, Dom realized it was because he didn't belong. He had never witnessed this scene._

_Then, with another jarring movement, he was in the spacious room he had occupied in Carthak. It was as beautiful as ever, the spotlessly clean linen sheets on a bed of dark wood, surrounded by priceless works of art that he used for everyday tasks. A dark-haired man that Dom did not immediately identify as himself sat at the ornate ebony desk, staring moodily into a small glass of some strong Carthaki alcoholic beverage, the name of which he could not pronounce._

_Dom winced as he remembered that night, the self-beration as he realized how what he said must have sounded to Kel. He hadn't meant it that way, _honestly_. But then, hadn't he? How else could he have meant it? He had addressed her as he might his men, a barb meant to sting as well as tease._

_The other Dom slammed his fist into the desk and _Dom's eyes snapped open.

Above him there was nothing but a startlingly blue sky. Presently, a beautiful white bird wheeled above him, disturbing the flawless scene. After a few moments, Dom began to feel something rough and hard, but able to give, beneath him. He curled his fingers through it... sand. He was lying on the sand under a beautiful blue sky. Had he fallen asleep? Slowly, he rolled over with a groan.

Kel was lying on the beach beside him, her usually neat hair strewn around her. Salt had dried on her arms, the only skin he could see, leaving a crusty white film behind. Slowly, he touched a hand to his own face, and felt salt crumble beneath his fingers. He heaved himself to his knees and immediately felt ill. He turned away quickly, barely avoiding bathing Kel in the contents of his stomach. He continued to vomit for a while before collapsing, exhausted, back onto the sand. It took a few minutes for him to collect himself, but finally he was able to crawl over to Kel without feeling ill.

She wasn't moving.

Dom felt something in his chest freeze, and was almost sick again. He crawled the last few paces to her side and gently turned her over so that she was lying on her back, rather than her side.

Her face had a few minor scratches, startlingly red against the white salt that caked her face. With relief he noticed that her chest was moving, ever so slightly. He quickly checked her over for wounds, and found none that were serious. Satisfied at her well-being, he sat back on his heels and warily surveyed the beach around him. Sailors were strewn about, only one or two besides himself awake.

Slowly, he remembered how he and Kel had come to be lying on a beach, bruised and scratched but otherwise unharmed.

_The ship had broken under the first fierce wave. It was only a modified pleasure-boat, not meant to withstand the harsh storms of the sea. Water had rushed in, too fast for the sailors to pump out. Within minutes, the Captain was forced to call everyone to enter the lifeboats. A death sentence, to be sure, but safer than the rapidly sinking ship on which they stood._

_They had almost made it to the shore before the little lifeboat had capsized. He remembered, vaguely, swimming desperately towards the land. He was a poor swimmer, having never lived near a body of water large enough to swim properly in, and he was no match for this churning, hellish ocean. Kel had crashed into him, propelled by a monstrous wave, when he was nearly ready to give up. Frantically, Kel pulled him along, in the direction they both hoped led to land and relative safety. He had been pulled under first, and Kel had been forced to swim for both of them. She was a strong swimmer, having spent many of her childhood days swimming in the ocean in the Yamani Isles, but she was out of practice and could not possibly bear a grown man and herself through the raging storm. After a time, everything had seemed to turn dark blue, and then black._

Slowly, Dom reached out and tried to brush Kel's hair out of her face. He was moderately successful despite the hard, salt-encrusted strands it had dried into. Sighing, he pulled himself to his feet and began to totter down the beach in search of Buri.

* * *

"Really, Mistress Kieu," Numair said disapprovingly, "We brought you to Tortall with the understanding that you were a powerful mage who could be useful to us. And yet, you've already proved yourself unable to perform a simply _scrying_ accurately."

Kieu stared up at him, unable to find words. She had seen what he had in the mirror; Kel and Dom alive, if not exactly well, lying on a beach. There had been a settlement barely visible in the distance. They would be fine. _How did I make such a horrible mistake?_

"You may tell Neal and Daine that you were wrong, and that he has grieved for nothing, yourself. In the future, you will check with me before spreading dramatic rumors you have gathered from your scrying. Understand?"

"Y-yes sir," Kieu stuttered, unable to meet his eyes.

"Go."

She scampered from his rooms. Out in the hall, she paused for a minute or two, gathering her wits. Slowly, she forced herself to evaluate her scrying session, looking for what had gone wrong. After several minutes, she remembered thinking that they were on a ship just before she finalized the spell.

_Stupid,_ she cursed herself, _I scryed their ship, not them. So _stupid!

Finally, she once again gathered herself, and knocked softly on Lord Neal's door.

"Come in," he called, just as he had last time.

Silently, she trudged into his room.

"Lord Neal-" she began uncertainly. How did one begin to tell a man that they had given him the worst news of his life, and been _wrong_.

"May I help you, Tenagi?"

"I... I... when I was casting the spell to scry Kel and Dom, I accidentally thought about their ship, and so that's what I saw... Kel and Dom are... they are alive. Master Numair scryed them just now. They've been shipwrecked, and Kel still hadn't woken up, but... they're okay. I... I am... so... I'm so sorry, Lord Neal! I didn't realize- I would never have scared you if I'd known! I really thought that... I mean, I saw some of their belongings in the rubble, and there were only three dead men so I thought-" Kieu choked as she forced herself to stop speaking. Neal, clearly, wasn't listening to her anymore anyways. He was staring straight ahead, not appearing to see or hear anything.

Silently, Kieu slid into a pile on the floor, staring up at him with imploring eyes that begged the unseeing Neal to understand.

* * *

Kel was the last to wake. She could barely stumble to her feet, and could remain standing for no more than a few seconds at a time. Finally, an exhausted Dom heaved her over his shoulders and lugged her towards the settlement they could barely see on the horizon, stopping to rest every few yards. Buri, dark eyes lifeless with tiredness, trudged along behind him.

The sailors, too, were making their way towards the promise of shelter in a ragged huddle, supporting those who could not walk on their own. A few threw nasty looks over their shoulders that seemed to be aimed at Buri, who was too tired to even notice their glares.

After what seemed like an age, they finally arrived at the 'settlement' they had seen from a distance, dismayed to find that it was barely more than a collection of ragged, empty huts. But at least it would shelter them from the unforgiving sun.

Dom set Kel down on a partly dessicated sleeping mat near the back of one of the huts, and she instantly fell back asleep. Buri hovered over her, shaking now with weariness.

"Do you think she'll be alright?" Buri asked, her voice faint.

"I think she's just exhausted," Dom replied, frowning. It was unlike Kel to be so utterly drained. Then, she _had_ pulled both herself and his heavy frame through churning ocean waters. That was bound to take it out of a person.

"We should sleep too," Buri said after a second of silence. "We can search for an inhabited village tomorrow."

Dom was already dozing off on the decaying cot next to Kel.

* * *

Neal spent a few hours in a daze, while Numair fretted that he would relapse into the lifeless state he had been in after he received news of Yuki's marriage. Finally Neal began to return to a relatively normal state, and it was clear that he would continue to hold himself together. He was nearly the man he had once been.

Still, the change in him was noticeable. He was less prone to bouts of overdramatic poetry, more inclined to observe others in silence. His sharp green eyes still bore witness to his intelligence, and his tongue was just as quick to spit a sarcastic comment, but there was a softness to the sarcasm that had never before been present.

"He seems to be doing better. You really oughtn't have been so upset with Kieu earlier," Daine said thoughtfully, looking up at her lover.

Numair frowned, creating a subtle furrow between his eyebrows. "She made a foolish mistake. She caused unnecessary suffering with her foolishness, Magelet."

"That's all it _was,_ though. A foolish mistake. She's barely out of school and she's never been in a situation like this before. She's bound to make mistakes because of all the stress. Didn't _you_ ever make mistakes?"

Numair sighed in acknowledgment and bent down to kiss her.

* * *

"The sailors have no idea where we are," Dom said with a sigh, plopping down onto one of the dessicated cots by Kel. She was asleep again, but feverishly now. Frowning, he leaned over to feel her forehead. His frown deepened with worry.

"Buri, does she feel warm to you?"

Buri crawled over and laid her hand on Kel's forehead. A slight, worried frown came to her face.

"She has a fever, definitely. I assume that the sailors didn't think to save any of the medicines on board?"

"Of course not," Dom said, his lips twitched upward at the corners with half-hearted amusement.

Kel shifted restlessly in her sleep, her breathing slightly labored.

"What do we do? She needs a Healer, but you can hardly _carry_ her to whatever civilization we manage to find."

Silently, Dom and Buri stared at each other, unsure of what to do.

* * *

**Honestly, my dear readers, did you really think I could bear to kill Dom off? :p Though I admit I could (and have, in almost all my oneshots) kill Kell off even though I adore her, I could never kill Dom!**

**I was going to have two chapters with only Daine, Numair, Neal and Kieu just to drag it out, but I decided that it would be too cruel. Also, I'm pretty sure I couldn't write two chapters of DN. Not characters I can write well, if you didn't notice in their one (and probably only) scene. It's not that I don't like them, but they are both UTTERLY unlike me, which makes it very hard to relate to them, and thus to write them. Alas.**

**You'll have to wait and see if Kel survives. I admit even I'm not _entirely_ sure. It depends on whether or not I feel like writing angst in the next few chapters :p**

**Also, pleeeease review. I do dearly love all of you who put my story on your story alert list, but I'd love it even more if you'd review.**

**Annnnd, I decided to dedicate this chapter to atlanta enchanted because I really think I freaked her out by making it seem as if Kel and Dom had already died. Hehe. Er, I mean, I'm terribly sorry.**

**Thank you _so much_, dear reviewers! Sadly, I chose to write this chapter rather than reply to most of you. I'm sooooo sorry. I'll try to reply to everyone who reviews next chapter. I might even put a few spoilers in if it's a good review :p Love you all! (heart)**

**Cheers!**

**Annmarie**


	18. Old Friends

**Forgetting the Past**

Chapter 18

* * *

Daine sat on her bed, hunched, tired and pale. Worriedly, Numair handed her a cup of tea. She huddled over it as they all sat watching, waiting for her to begin. Finally, after a few sips, she regained some color and began to speak.

"The entire country is on fire with rumors of the king's mistreatment of his subjects. He's raised taxes to an _unreasonable_ level, and those who can't pay it are rotting in newly-built debtor's jails. He's ordered the Lord Provost to stop hunting down illegal slave traders, and so more and more families are selling their children to pay his taxes. He's sent all of his knights to their homes, and so bandits, Scanran raiding parties and renegade Bazhir rob the people, unchecked. Tusaine is on the verge of declaring war, and the king is forcibly enlisting the men that need to earn money to pay his taxes to fight his war, plunging the people into further poverty. Almost twenty lords are dead on charges of treason, because they refused to pay his taxes. He- he-" Daine shuddered violently- "he hung them from the walls. They were still there, rotting, when I flew by." She huddled back over her cup, still shaking a little, and did not say anymore. Neal and Kieu regarded her with incredulity, Numair with not-quite-concealed worry.

Finally, Neal stood.

"I don't know the king personally or anything, but even I know that this is completely wrong. There is something horribly wrong with _him_. If we are to remedy the situation, we must go straight to the root of the problem."

"And what do you propose we _do?_" Kieu demanded scornfully, "kidnap the king of Tortall and either magic him back to normal or kill him?"

Neal gave her a level look. "That is exactly what I'm saying."

* * *

"_We can't stay here much longer, Mother."_

"_Yes, I know."_

_A fretful silence._

"_Roald, where else can we possibly go? Where can we hope to blend in?"_

"_I asked in town today. There's a tiny settlement, about a day's ride away from here, that's been abandoned. It's good fishing if we can buy a little boat, and there's some decent farmland not far away. I think we might have enough to buy some of that, as well. It won't be easy, but I think we'd get along, and nobody would bother us."_

"_See… see what else you can find out."_

* * *

"She's getting worse. We _have_ to find people soon, Domitan. Surely you could… _I don't know_… make a cart or something to push her in!"

Dom frowned sternly at her, and she sighed.

"And none of the sailors are healers?" she asked

"I don't know. Only one of them would talk to me, and he said that even if they could heal her they wouldn't. They blame the shipwreck on the two of you- women on board are unlucky, and all that rubbish."

Buri winced.

"There _is_ another settlement, though, about three days away on foot. It's just a quarter of a mile from the sea; I thought I might make a sort of sled that we could pull Kel on and we could stick to the beach until we are nearly there. The settlement is fairly sizable, and has its own docks, so we wouldn't miss it. Do you think we could do it? We don't have much food, just some foraging, and with Kel it could take us as much as five days…"

Buri thought, scowling slightly, for a few silent, tense seconds.

Finally, she sighed.

Dom nodded at her, and left the cottage to pry the less decayed boards from other little huts. He took the nails from the cots too rotten to be of any use and quickly formed a simple sledge on which to pull the feverish Kel. He and Buri agreed to take turns (he could pull for about half an hour, and then she would pull for about ten minutes, as she was smaller and more tired and already undernourished because of her seasickness). The next morning, they tried to bid the sailors farewell, but were heartily ignored, and finally left in search of the larger, _settled_ settlement.

The sand proved to be rockier than expected in some places, and a board or two was lost to the rough ground. Kel became more ill as the day passed, her condition worsened by the relentlessly beating sun and the constant movement.

They had been walking for an eternity (Buri insisted –_forcefully-_ that it had only been six hours) before Dom pointed out a small huddle of people on the horizon.

Buri frowned and squinted in their direction.

Twenty minutes later, she squinted either harder, and her expression began to change into astonished disbelief.

"It… it can't be!"

Dom looked at her sharply. "What is it?"

"It's _Thayet._ With Roald and the other children."

Dom stared at her.

"It's not _possible…_" Buri muttered, oblivious to Dom's shock and disbelief.

Dom shook his head. "Must be the lack of food. Let's keep going." Before he could take another step, an astonished and very familiar voice called out, loudly enough that it carried to them, "_Buri?!"_

"It _is_ them," Buri said, completely astonished.

Tentatively, one of the figures raised and hand and waved to them. Buri waved back, rather frantically. The tallest of the figures- a male, Dom was quite certain, and therefore probably Roald- began jogging towards them.

"It is you," he exclaimed when he finally reached them, panting lightly. Dom set the handles of Kel's makeshift sleigh on the ground as gently as he could, and then collapsed into a sitting position next to it. "Mother wasn't sure, but she thought she'd recognize Buri anywhere... And Kel? You must be Neal's cousin, I'm afraid I can't remember your name..."

"Dom," he replied, his voice surprisingly dull. "Domitan of Masbolle. That's not important right now. You can heal, right? Kel needs help."

Roald looked slightly bewildered. It was a strange look on his face- though Dom was hardly familiar with the younger man, he had seen him in the past, and the prince had always seemed quite composed.

"I'm afraid that most of my training in healing dealt only with wounds," Seeing Dom's fierce scowl, Roald quickly continued on, "but I think I can help her, at least until we can get her back to the city where we were staying and find her a proper healer. We've got a wagon- it's just behind that ridge. We were coming over to see if the sand was packed closely enough for us to drive the wagon along here, since there's a rather unfortunate ridge in our way farther inland."

Dom nodded absently, and then motioned a hand towards Kel. Prince Roald immediately knelt beside her.

"How long has she been like this?" he asked, a large hand covering her forehead as he checked her for fever.

"She's been ill since the boat wrecked," Dom replied, and Roald gave him a slightly alarmed look. His expression also managed, somehow, to convey that he would be demanding the entire story at a later, more appropriate, time. "She didn't seem sick at first, but by the end of the first day she had a fever, and... she's been getting worse since then."

"Well, the sun and rough motion of your little litter can't have helped her," a throaty, feminine voice added to the conversation. Dom rotation his body slightly to look up at Thayet, queen of Tortall. She was far more beautiful up close, which he had not believed possible from the few times he had seen her.

"We didn't have a choice," Buri explained quickly, before Dom could become upset. "She was getting worse before we left, too, and there was no one there willing to heal her. We decided our best chance was to get her to a populated city, with healers, as soon as possible. This was the only way."

Thayet blinked at her old friend. "I didn't mean to say you were doing the wrong thing," she quickly explained, "I was merely mentioning that it had probably exacerbated the original illness."

Roald, meanwhile, was busily moving over Kel, his gift creating a light tinge of color in the air around her. Her eyelids fluttered open.

"Roald," she asked, her voice almost to faint to be heard, "Roald, what are you doing here? Where's Cricket?" The crown prince allowed a brief expression of confusion to cross his face before he smiled gently at Kel, his magic still at work.

"You're very sick, Kel," he explained gently. "I'm helping you to get better. I'm sure that... Cricket is fine." Kel smiled blearily at him, her eyelashes once again drifting closed as she settled back into sleep.

Dom, weary though he was, felt a strange sensation when he realized that she hadn't once asked for him. She had asked about a _cricket_, for heaven's sake, but not him. He wondered if the uncomfortable emotion might be... jealousy.

_Over a cricket? Don't be ridiculous, Dom,_ he scolded himself before focusing his attention back on Kel.

After a few moments, Roald sighed and sat back on his heels.

"That's all I can do for her, but it's an illness I'm familiar with- men would sometimes get this after battles lasted weeks. It's primarily exhaustion, making a small sickness much worse than it ought to be. I'll have to keep an eye on her, but I think she'll be fine. Kel was always very strong."

Dom sagged a little in relief. The entire time they had been traveling, he had forced himself to believe that Kel would live, even though he _knew_ she wouldn't, because it was the only thing keeping him going. Buri looked relieved at the news, as well.

Thayet sighed and crouched down among all of them.

"Well, it looks as if the sand will do for a wagon, though we should stay off it as much as possible," she commented after a moment of silence. "All of you should stay here, and I'll bring the wagon and the children to you. I'm sure Roald and I can get Kel into the wagon, and the two of you can rest there with her. You look like death warmed up."

"Haven't eaten in three days," Buri mumbled, looking as if she might, finally, collapse. "Found some rivers so we've had something to drink, but no food."

Thayet's widened eyes were the only thing that betrayed her alarm at this revelation. "Well, then, I'll be certain to hurry. We have more than enough food to share, and we have money to buy more from the city, if need be."

Buri and Dom nodded, too tired now to even agree out loud. Without worry over Kel fueling them, they were barely able to remain conscious.

"Roald, watch them," Thayett ordered in a particularly commanding voice, to which Roald nodded calmly.

"Of course, Mother. I'll see you in a few minutes. Have one of the little ones ready with water- Lady Kel will need that more than anything."

Dom noted, distantly, that now that the crisis had passed, Roald had returned to the formality Dom had always associated with him. He wondered how much of Roald that people saw was actually Roald, and how much of it was simply his projection of what he thought a crown prince should be. For the first time ever, Dom considered that it might be a terrible burden to be an eldest son in the Conté line.

He could feel the soft dark touch of sleep sucking at the corners of his consciousness. Briefly, he struggled to remain awake, but all too soon gave in and let oblivion take him.

* * *

Dom woke as the ground beneath him shook violently, causing him to bang his head on something rather hard. Frowning, he lurched to a sitting position, and realized he was in the back of a wagon, tucked precariously between two barrels that presumably contained food or water. Memory returned in a rushing wave.

Quickly, he scrambled to a more stable position and began climbing through the small jungle of supplies in search of Kel. He found her lying in a rather more comfortable position than he had been left in, swaddled in what looked to be a dozen or more blankets.

"Roald's hoping to sweat the fever out, so that she'll have nothing more to recover from than the exhaustion," Buri's voice explained, and Dom nearly jumped at realizing she was so close. Kel moaned lightly, a sound Dom found strangely mesmerizing, and shifted in her sleep, her eyebrows drawing together. She didn't wake.

"Do you think she'll be alright?" Dom asked, after he was certain she wouldn't wake. Buri shrugged.

"Roald seems to think so. I've known him since he was born- I don't think he'd lie or exaggerate about something like this. I think she has a good chance of making it."

Dom sighed and shifted. A small head poked into view towards the rear of the wagon.

"Oh, you're awake," the voice of a rather young woman said. She sighed and pulled herself into the wagon.

"I'm Vania," she explained as she crawled through supplies. She knelt on the opposite of Kel, reaching out to touch her forehead.

"Her fever's getting a bit too high," she commented, frowning. Her hands began to glow very faintly with her gift, and Dom frowned.

"What's wrong with her?" he demanded. Buri's brown furrowed in worry.

"Nothing new," Vania said, jerking up to face them. "I'm sorry, I must have scared you. Her fever's just gotten a bit higher than I'd like. Roald favors the old methods of healing–I'd rather just take care of it with my Gift. If you'll give me a moment, I can fix this."

Mute, Kel's traveling companions nodded. When Vania straightened, Buri sighed and stretched.

"I'm going to talk to Thayet. I need to find out what happened. She might know something about what's going on with Jonathan. Vania, would you mind keeping and eye on Kel and making sure Dom doesn't get bored and do something stupid?" Buri asked, the lilt in her voice suggesting that there might be some sort of old joke behind her wording. Vania chucked dryly.

"Of course, Buri," she agreed, smiling. With a slight grunt, Buri rose from her seated position and made her way towards the front of the wagon.

"I presume she's driving?" she asked over her shoulder.

"Yes, until Roald gets back from scouting," Vania called. Buri acknowledged the response with a nod before climbing between two particularly large barrels that blocked the front of the wagon from view. After a few seconds Dom could hear the sounds of hushed voices in rapid conversation, but he was unable to make out any of the words. He glanced down at Kel. She was, once again, fast asleep. His presence, or the lack thereof, would make no difference. He moved closer to the front of the wagon where Queen Thayet and Buri were conversing.

"He was different... _before_ the incident with Kel?" Buri was asking, her tone hushed but not really a whisper. He didn't think that they were trying to conceal their conversation. Or at least, he chose to think that, because otherwise he would be snooping. He wasn't entirely sure how to explain away the fact that he wasn't willing to be seen by either woman.

"Yes," Thayet replied, sounding tired. "He'd started to get... meaner. Vania's the only one who's really still young enough to punish, but he'd come up with the nastiest punishments for stupid things, like talking with a young man he didn't approve of. He stopped writing to Kalasin–stopped even reading her letters. You remember how much those letters used to mean to him. He felt so guilty for marrying her off to someone so far away, you know. He was just... not Jon. Not the man I married."

He heard a small swish of air as Buri, presumably, opened her mouth to offer consoling words, but Thayet continued before she could say anything.

"And Buri, don't you dare tell me that sometimes men change as they get older. Not like this. Men do not change that much over the space of a single night."

"That fast?" Buri murmured, and she looked thoughtful. "Thayet, when do you expect Roald back? I need him to send a message to Numair, using his Gift."

* * *

_Merry Christmas! Um, don't kill me?_

_I know, it's been over a year. This time, at least, I can promise that you will see the end of the story. The ending is rather rushed and not something I'm especially proud of, and it's not a perfect conclusion to this story, but it ties off some of the worst loose ends. Except for the K/D part. There will be some strong hints, but I could not work it into the story, as my main aim as I wrote over the last week was to simply conclude this story after four years._

_I won't try to claim that it's my best writing ever, but mostly I just feel a sense of relief that, FINALLY, I was able to pound out the final chapters of this story. They've all been written. There may be an epilogue, if I can manage it, but what I have answers the question of what the hell was going on with Jon (which I have been asked, many many times), hints strongly at K/D, and... well. It's hard to explain. It's definitely not the best conclusion ever. But at least it's a conclusion._

_I hope you'll forgive me for not really doing this story justice as it draws to a close. I felt that something was better than nothing. I am going to be posting a K/D drabble in the near future, and I hope that it will end up being the prologue to a second chaptered K/D story. If that ends up being the case I PROMISE to write several chapters of buffer before I post, so that we won't have a repeat of the situation with this story._

_Thank you, loyal readers who have stayed with me through the years this story dragged out over (going on five now, isn't it?) and welcome new readers. (er, assuming there are any of you. Eep. This story is so out of date people may not be able to bring themselves to read it anymore :/)_

_~Annmarie_

_P.S. Sorry for any inaccuracies. I'll try to fix them if they're pretty major and you mention them in a review. I knew that if I tried to refresh my memory by rereading the books I'd never finish this, and I decided I'd rather finally bring this to a conclusion. Heh._

_Also, sorry for any typos. I don't have anyone to look over this, and I didn't have the time to more than briefly glance through it for major spelling errors._


	19. Legends of Sarain

**Forgetting the Past**

Chapter 19

* * *

Kel woke up in a rattling contraption that, after she gathered herself, she recognized as the interior of a wagon. She set up, squiggling her arms out of the numerous blankets that covered her and then pushing them down around her waist. She was somewhat surprised to find herself dressed in a fresh tunic that was most definitely _not_ hers, and in fact looked to belong to a man.

"We tried my clothes first, but nothing fit you, so we had to get one of Roald's shirts," a voice explained from somewhere to the left. Kel whirled to face the speaker, and almost passed out from the dizziness.

"Wait a moment- I think it will pass. You've been through a terrible ordeal, from what Dom tells me," the voice continued, and a cool hand came to rest on her shoulder. Kel blinked spots from her eyes. Her vision slowly cleared to reveal the slightly familiar face of Queen Thayet. Kel fought back a gasp.

"Y-your majesty," she began to bow, before remembering what turning had done to her head. She didn't want to think what might happen if she attempted to bend over.

Thayet smiled tersely at her. "Last I heard," she informed Kel calmly, "I was wanted for treason in Tortall and sentenced to death, not unlike yourself. So there's really no need to address me so formally. My name is Thayet."

Kel nodded numbly. "We were on our way to find you and bring you back. Neal- Nealan of Queenscove was working with Master Numair, Daine and a friend of Lady Alianne's to discover what was wrong with the King and... try to... fix him... I mean, not that there was anything wrong, I'm sure he's perfectly good as a king, it was just that he had been behaving oddly and we wanted to protect you and I didn't mean-"

Thayet cut her off with a rather amused smile and a finger to her lips.

"Calm down, Kel. I can call you Kel?" At Kel's nod, she continued. "I understand what you mean. For now, you need your rest. Buri and I have come to some conclusions–I'll tell you of them when you wake again. For now, just rest."

She nodded, already feeling sleep pull at her once again. "What happened?" she asked tiredly as she began to drift off.

"You hit a storm. From what Dom tells me, you–"

Kel was already asleep.

* * *

"Kieu told me that Buri sent you a message through Roald," Neal gasped, panting slightly as he burst into the room. Numair looked up from the text he had been studying.

"Yes, I need to discuss that with you. It's... well, they think they may have discovered the problem. Frankly, I think they might be right. If it is indeed that case that Jon's... well, it's rather terrible news if it's true."

Neal blinked. "That's great. Did he say anything about Dom and Kel?" he demanded, and it was rather obvious by the tone of his voice that this was the question he _really_ wanted the answer to. Numair had no doubt that, until he heard news about his friends, he couldn't care less about the situation with Jon.

Numair rather hoped that it wasn't the situation that Thayet and Buri had suggested. If it was, it was far too late to truly fix things.

"I asked. He said that Dom and Buri were fine, and Kel was quite sick, but recovering well. She should be on her feet in no time."

"She was sick? With what? Roald's no good at healing illnesses, did you–"

Numair cut him off, not in the mood to face the lecture Neal would, clearly, have liked to have given Roald.

"She'll be fine, Neal. I'm sure that Roald is taking very good care of her. Meanwhile, I need to explain Buri and Thayet's theory to you, and we need to talk about possible solutions. Magic will have to be involved–I'll bring Daine and Kieu into the discussions later, once we have a basic plan, but I thought it better for us as mages to work out which spell to use to test their theory and counteract it's... effects... should the theory prove to be true. Raoul will make the final decisions–we thought it best not to ask Thayet to make such a choice. We can talk about Kel and Dom _after_ we've fixed the situation with the king, alright?"

Neal, looking rather abashed, nodded.

"Good. Now, how familiar are you with Sarain lore?"

Neal shrugged, and Numair began to explain the story of the Lochore.

* * *

When Kel woke again, she was settled onto a slightly desiccated pallet that, for some reason, seemed oddly familiar. Try as she might, she couldn't recall where she might have come in contact with the thing. Even the lumpy sleeping sacks that had served as her bed while she served with the King's Own were preferable to this contraption. She turned slightly to her side, surprised that nothing hurt. Surely, she had been laid down so long only because of some grievous injury...?

Slowly, she sat up, evaluating every muscle in bone in her body in case something was wrong and she simply hadn't noticed. Someone made a small noise to the side of her. She turned to find herself staring at Dom's familiar blue eyes.

"You're awake," he said, sounding rather surprised. She blinked at him.

"Um, yes," she commented, not entirely sure how she was supposed to respond to his statement. _Obviously,_ she was awake. It seemed rather redundant to agree.

"Her Majesty said you woke up earlier, but didn't stay awake for long. Are you planning on going back to sleep anytime soon, or can I tell you about what they think is happening with the king?" He finally said, smiling slightly. There was something strange behind his smile, she thought, but she wasn't entirely sure what it was. She smiled in return.

"I think I'm really awake now," she said. "What do they think?"

Dom sighed, and ran a hand through his dark hair, looking a little weary. "It's kind of hard to explain, but I think I can manage. Have you ever heard of the Lochore?"

Kel shook her head, frowning. She was relatively familiar with the different types of Immortals–all pages were carefully trained to know everything about the creatures–but she had never heard of a Lochore. Assuming it was an Immortal, of course.

"It's a creature of Sarain lore. Since no such thing showed up when the Immortals were released, it was believed to have been just a myth. The Lochore possesses a person and gradually takes over their mind. They like to sow discord wherever they can. Based on His Majesty's behavior, they think he may have come to be possessed by one, though they have no idea how he would have come into contact with such a creature. It eats your soul or something like that–that's what they believe–and controls your actions. The things His Majesty has been doing in Tortall apparently sound like the actions of one. Numair has a spell to find out if he is actually possessed by one, something he found in an old Sarain text.

"If Buri and Her Majesty are right... it would be too late. When the Lochore is banished, His Majesty will... well, he can no longer exist independent of the creature after so long. If he doesn't die, he'll be in a coma. It looks like Roald will inherit the crown far sooner than we thought."

Kel stared at him in blank incomprehension.

"Why do they think it's a Loch- Lochear?"

"Lochore," Dom corrected, chuckling slightly. "We don't even know for sure that that's what happened, yet, but it seems possible. His behavior changed overnight, according to Her Majesty, which is commonly mentioned in the legends of the Lochore. There are some other signs too, but Buri and Her Majesty seem to be having trouble describing them to me, so I think they're... uh... well. Like I said, Numair will cast some sort of magic to be sure before anything is done."

Kel sighed. She did not particularly like King Jonathan–in fact, since she had been kidnapped by Neal and Dom as they fled Tortall, she had spent a great deal of time rather hating him–but she could not imagine Tortall with a king other than him, and certainly not Roald, whom she had known since her days as a page. She had never lived in Tortall while it had been ruled by another king. She found herself hoping that the Lochore was just a legend, and Queen Thayet's slightly tribal past had made her perhaps a bit _too_ suspicious.

But frankly, she couldn't think of any other explanation for King Jonathan's behavior. He had always been a fair man, regardless of her feelings towards his policies regarding commoners, and her probation as a page.

"When will we know?"

"Numair and Neal began riding towards Corus the day before yesterday. They should already have arrived. They're- they came to the decision to simply take care of it if he is... possessed... by the Lochore." She thought Dom must feel the same way as she did–understanding of the theory, but either hoping it wasn't true or not quite able to believe such a far-fetched idea.

"So it could already be finished?"

"Yes," Dom replied simply, crouching down on his heels beside her. He put his hand to her forehead, and she was surprised when her skin tingled from the contact. She was fairly certain she had recovered from her crush on him years ago. She hoped that it wasn't returning–it had been embarrassing when she spent so much time around him as a squire, and more than once came across him with a lady-friend, but it would be simply intolerable as an adult. A small smile curled up his lips as he moved his hand away.

"You don't seem to have a fever," he said, and she saw him edge a bowl of cool water behind his back. She wondered if he had been planning on dampening her forehead. If he had, why was _Dom_, of all people, taking care of her? Perhaps the royal family and Buri had more important matters to attend to. Kel could only imagine that Her Majesty must be miserable at the prospect of losing her husband.

And it was sad, in a way. All of the good that King Jonathan had done as ruler of Tortall would doubtless be forgotten in the annals of history, replaced by the fact that he had died in disgrace. It would be his possession by the Lochore for which he would be remembered, not the many things he had done for the commoners of the realm or to unite the Bazhir with the rest of the people of Tortall. Briefly, Kel wondered how the Bazhir would behave once ruled by Roald. They seemed to have an almost mystical reverence for King Jonathan, though Kel had never entirely understood why. Roald had once tried to explain, but she had gathered only that he somehow spoke to them in their minds. She suspected she had misunderstood.

"Hmm," she responded, leaning back into the rather uncomfortable pallet. After a moment she sat back up, and began to stand. She found that her legs felt rather weak, but otherwise she seemed to be fine. Dom remained in his position, crouching beside the uncomfortable pallet. His blue eyes peered up at you.

"You saved my life, you know," he said after an uncomfortable moment of staring at each other.

"What?" she asked, surprised by the suddenness of the statement. She wasn't entirely sure what he was talking about, either–there had been several occasions, over the years, where she had saved Dom's life. He had saved her a few times, himself.

"When the ship sank. I'm a terrible swimmer–the only water near Masbolle is all shallow creeks, and Uncle Baird would never let us swim in the river when I went to visit Queenscove. So... I thought I was going to drown. You dragged me back up. Several times."

Kel stared at him. She did not remember doing any of this–in fact, she did not remember anything after the ship had tilted, and she had tried to convince herself that this wasn't any farther than the other tips, when she had been certain that the boat would capsize, and then it hadn't stopped tipping and sailors were yelling on deck and she was scrambling toward the ladder leading to the deck because she _knew_ the ship was about to capsize...

"So, um, thank you," Dom finished, and he looked rather embarrassed. This was so completely uncharacteristic that Kel, for a moment, wondered if he was teasing her.

"Er, you're welcome," she responded after a second, when she was quite certain that he was being serious. She felt rather embarrassed herself. "But I don't remember. Pulling you up, I mean. Was I hurt? Why have I been out for so long? Where's my glaive–I mean, of course, it must have sunk with the ship. Where are we?"

Dom grinned at her, seeming relieved at the sudden return to normality. She wondered if he had caught all of her questions.

"You washed up on shore with the rest of us, but you never completely regained consciousness," he explained, "Within a few days, you were burning up with fever. We had landed near a small, abandoned village. Once we realized that you weren't going to recover on your own, Buri and I tried to take you to the nearest city. We met Queen Thayet, Prince Roald and the remainder of the royal family on the way. Prince Roald and Princess Vania healed you, and you've been slowly recovering from exhaustion since then. Actually," he grinned slightly, "We all have. Buri's barely been out of bed since we arrived at the settlement, and I haven't been up much myself. Now that you're better, we're going back to the city where the royal family has been staying. From there we can catch a ship to Tyra, and then to Port Legann. It will... probably all be over, by the time we get there, but... well, we'll be home. I hadn't realized just how much I missed Tortall until they offered the opportunity to return. I'll even have my place in the Own back. Raoul hinted that I might get a promotion." Dom's eyes had gone slightly dreamy, and Kel fought back a very inappropriate giggle. They were talking about, for all intents and purposes, murdering the king to rid themselves of the creature that may or may not have possessed him. It didn't seem like the time to be laughing at Dom's occasionally goofiness.

"When will we know?" she asked, after a moment. Dom's eyes darkened, knowing exactly what she was asking.

"Unless there's some major delay, we should know by dark," he informed her, and she sighed and settled back onto the pallet. Even rising for this short period of time had tired her. Dom continued. "We'll leave for Tortall when we receive word, assuming Her Majesty and Buri were correct, and the... situation... with His Majesty is remedied."

Kel could only nod.

* * *

**A/N: Um… sorry… there is a long and almost reasonable explanation for why this is so much later than I had planned, but it boils down to this: the external hard drive containing this story was in one city and I was in another, and I didn't have the time to/feel like rewriting the last half of the chapter, since I had the first half on my computer. I am a horrible person. Please forgive me.**

**And **_**then**_**, when I went to upload this chapter, I couldn't log in because of some bug with ffnet. Grrr.**

**Also, please ****review**** : / I felt so neglected after the last chapter.**

**I think a lot of you aren't going to like the way this story ends. There will be an epilogue, though I can't promise how long it will be or how much time will pass before I post it. Hopefully not too much, but the semester starts on Tuesday, and I'm taking seventeen hours of extremely difficult engineering classes, so… no promises, okay?**

**The next chapter is the final chapter, not including the epilogue.**

**~Annmarie**


	20. Finale

**Forgetting the Past**

Chapter 20

* * *

Dom entered the hut again just after the sun had set. There was still a faint glow on the horizon, visible through the small door that held all Kel had seen of their temporary home.

"What happened?" she immediately demanded, sitting up. He sighed and sat next to her, unworried about the dirt that would later have to be brushed away. She noticed for the first time that he was wearing rather finer clothes than she remembered. After a moment, she came to the realization that, like her, he was wearing some of Roald's extra clothing. No one else would have had anything large enough to fit him. His shoulders were quite broad–the younger princes, Liam and Jasson, seemed to have inherited their mother's thinner build–and so Roald's clothes had been the only ones that would fit.

"Her Majesty was right," he answered her, sounding rather heavy. "His Majesty did not survive the magic cast to release the Lochore's control over him. We'll be leaving in the morning–Buri thought we shouldn't travel after dark, though I think she might actually have been giving Her Majesty a little time to mourn before we were forced to travel again."

Though she struggled to think of a reply–any reply would do–nothing came to Kel's lips. She and Dom sat in silence as the sun sank fully behind the horizon. After a time, he lay down on the pallet with her. Understanding his need to be with someone at that particular moment, she did not question his actions, and merely tried to slow the beating of her heart. She wondered if it meant anything to him, or if she was just another warm body, and she realized that some part of her would die if that turned out to be the case. She determined not to think about it, at least not right now. Right now, she was simply going to enjoy the feeling of being in Dom's arms. Eventually, she drifted off to sleep.

The following morning, he was gone. Kel emerged slowly from the hut, surveying the unfamiliar surroundings for the first time. The royal family was silent, packing the few belongings that had been unloaded from their wagon with leaden movements. All of them had rather red eyes, and Kel felt a sudden surge of sympathy for them. The queen was seated in the front of the wagon, unmoving. _Her_ eyes were not red, but her face showed that her grief was beyond weeping. Knowing that she was still not well enough to walk, or really to even help load the things they would need, Kel climbed up beside her.

"I'll drive," she offered quietly. Queen Thayet did not acknowledge her statement; gently, Kel took the reins from her hands. Dom nodded as he passed her, carrying a small box with the corner of a blanket poking out. She offered him a weak smile.

She realized that must have woken before her and been packing for some time, because once Dom placed his box in the wagon, Buri declared that they were ready to leave. They had left some of the larger things behind, for the sailors that had been lurking for days, Kel saw. The reduced weight allowed everyone to crawl in the back. No one seemed able to talk–as the wagon lurched forward under Kel's reasonably skillful hands, she heard one of the princesses begin to sob quietly. She looked over her shoulder to see Princess Lianne with her head buried in Roald's shoulder, her own slim shoulders shaking slightly with her sobs. Queen Thayet remained beside her, still motionless.

After a time, Buri came forward and drew Her Majesty to the rear of the wagon with everyone else, offering the explanation that her children needed her. This seemed to catch Thayet's attention, and slowly she moved to join her family. Roald put a comforting arm around her.

After a few minutes, Dom came forward to join her.

"I don't belong with them right now," he explained dryly when she gave him a questioning glance. Taking the opportunity to ask a question that had been in her mind since shortly after she woke, Kel tied the reins off and turned to face him. The horses, not noticing the difference, continued to plot on in the general direction they had already been traveling.

"Where is Shinko? Roald's fiance?" she demanded. Dom blinked at her in surprise.

"I heard him mentioning to Buri that she had gone for a brief visit to the isles–one last time before her wedding, you know–when all of this began with His Majesty. He wrote and asked her to stay there until the situation could be fixed. From what I gather, she's still there, perfectly safe."

"And did he know anything about what happened to Yuki?" Kel pressed. "I find it hard to believe that she would willingly marry a man other than Neal."

Dom's face drew down into a scowl. "I asked him about that myself," he informed her. "Roald said that she married that man by order of the king. She was given the choice of that or death on Traitor's Hill. But Kel, even if it wasn't by choice, she's still married. Short of poisoning her new husband, Neal can't do anything to get her back."

Kel stared at him, realizing for the first time that some part of her had been hoping that Yuki's marriage had been unpleasant propaganda spread by the king to lure Neal back to Tortall. In a way, she supposed, it had worked. Only it was true–Yuki was married, and perhaps permanently out of Neal's reach. After a moment, she sighed and looked away.

"I was afraid of that," she finally said, very softly. Dom remained silent. She wondered if he was thinking about Neal, as she was, and what he would do when he found out for certain that Yuki was beyond his reach, likely forever. She wondered if it would be worse or better that Yuki had not gone willingly.

She felt quite certain that it would only make it worse. She wondered, briefly, if they might be able to keep that part of the deal secret from Neal, but dismissed it immediately. He would find out from someone, eventually, and if it was not her or Dom, he would want to know why they had not told them. He probably would never forgive them from concealing it from him, whether they had done it in his own interest or not.

She hoped Dom would come to the same conclusion, because she did not particularly relish the idea of arguing over whether to tell Neal or not with him. After a moment, she decided to broach the subject now, when at the very least they would have plenty of time to come to a decision. Spotting a rough patch in the old road coming up, she untied the reigns and steered the horses around it. Once the obstacle was cleared, she asked her question.

"Will you tell Neal?" Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him turn to face her. He seemed to regard her for a moment before he answered her question.

"Yes. He deserves to know. Will you try to stop me?"

Mutely, she shook her head, feeling grateful that he agreed. She glanced towards the back of the cart. In the time she had spent talking to Dom, the royal family had crowded around the queen. Princess Lianne and Princess Vania were both sobbing in their mother's arms, and Liam had tears running down his cheeks. Roald and Jasson both looked somber but composed. The queen's face was still strangely emotionless and pale, but the strength with which she gripped her daughters gave testament to the depth of her emotions. Kel had never before really considered the fact that her father would, one day, die. Watching this family mourn their loss brought it back to her, and she wished with all her heart that there was something she could do to comfort them. She could not even begin to think of something to say that might ease their pain a little. 'He was already dead' would certainly not do the trick.

Silence settled over the somber group as the wagon rocked along, accompanied by the slight clopping of the horses' hooves. After a while Dom took the reins from Kel. With only a moment of debate, she settled her head on his shoulder tentatively. She felt as if she ought to say something–to mention the old, familiar feelings that had returned, so much stronger than before–but she could not find the words. Dom did not object, and in fact offered her a small smile before he focused on a particularly rough patch of road. Slowly, the swaying of the wagon and the warmth of Dom's side lulled Kel to sleep.

* * *

Sitting in the hot summer sunshine, Neal felt that it was rather blasphemous that this day should bring the funeral of one of Tortall's most beloved monarchs. The sky was that particular shade of blue and the light breeze held that particular, cool quality that made him want to climb to the highest tower he could find and hang off of it, just enjoying the feel of the sky.

It seemed unnatural, too, that the King's beloved queen and children should not be here to witness the event. It had been considered, but it was high summer, and it would have been unwise to leave a body above-ground for any period of time. They would not return for weeks–it was unthinkable to wait that long to bury a respected monarch, even if they ought to have the right to attend. Lord Gareth of Naxon had been appointed regent until Roald could return to Tortall and claim the crown. Personally, Neal suspected that Lord Gareth was quite anxious to pass on the burden and return to his paperwork.

He had also been given the place in the funeral procession that should, by rights, have belonged to Queen Thayet and her children. The Duke looked rather guilty over this–it would seem that he, too, felt the wrongness of this funeral. Neal was forced to keep reminding himself that there had been no choice.

He wondered what he would do if they ever found out that he had had a part in King Jonathan's untimely death.

After much debate, he had been forced to concede that, in all likelihood, no one would believe their story that the king was possessed by some little-known Immortal from Sarain. They would be tried for murder, found guilty–as it _was_ through their actions that the king had died–and hung from Traitor's Hill.

The Duke had declared many of the king's actions null and void immediately after he came to power. He, Kel and Dom were now pardoned of all charges of treason, as were the others who had followed them into exile. Baron George and Alanna would probably have already sailed. Neal did not relish seeing his former knight mistress again, especially given the mood she was likely to be in.

Yuki was there.

She wasn't sitting especially close, but from his vantage point he could easily see her as the wagon containing King Jonathan's coffin, drawn by a beautiful set of black horses, wound its way towards the burial place of the kings. Silver cloth had been draped across the coffin, and funeral flowers gave the air a scent Neal was too familiar with. It brought back memories of his own brothers' funerals, one after the other.

Yuki's head began to turn in his direction, and Neal saw her husband grip her arm. It looked to be painful, if his white knuckled were any indication of how hard he was gripping. For a moment Neal had the irrational urge to stand up and tackle the man, but recalled where he was and sank farther back into his seat. He wondered where the palace had procured so many matching chairs at such short notice, so that the noble guests at the king's funeral might be seated as he was laid to rest.

The funeral seemed to pass by in a blur. Neal spent it torn between watching as the king's coffin was reverently lifted and carried into his crypt beneath the castle and watching Yuki, her face especially pale against the black of her hair and Tortallan mourning dress. Prince Roald's fiancée had set out weeks ago on the word of a prophetess, and had arrived in time for the funeral. She rode just behind the Duke, clad in the yamani mourning color of white, as together they were the closest thing to family that could be found in Tortall.

Neal wondered what it must have been like, to die alone.

He wondered if he would have to. Yuki was out of his reach forever. The circumstances of her marriage had been explained to him, once by his mother, once by his father, and once by Merric, but whether it had been by choice or not, she was now out of his reach.

He supposed it was rather karmic that, in all likelihood, he would die alone. After all, it was at least partially his fault that King Jonathan had met that fate. He shook his head to clear it of that thought–it was not his fault, after all, that the Lochore had possessed the king and forced Numair's hand. He wondered if Thayet would be able to forgive Roald for making the decision, and himself and Numair for carrying it out. He wasn't sure he would have been able to, if it had been Yuki facing death.

With a dull thud that reverberated through the crowd, a marble slab locked into place, sealing King Jonathan away from the world forever.

The End

* * *

A/N: OMG SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT. I got wrapped up in school (engineering classes are kinda hard, y'know) and then when I went to upload this about two weeks ago, it wouldn't let me, and THEN... well, you get the idea. I'll post the epilogue early to make up for it (um, hopefully?)

Yes, I killed Jon. Yes, I am sad about it, though I admit I don't harbor any fondness for the character. No, I do not regret his death.

Good news—you get your epilogue. All the K/D goodness that you did not get in the story will be there, I _promise_. On that note, if you _like_ that there were only K/D hints in this story and no outright romance, you should probably skip the epilogue.

It feels so weird to finish this story. I started it almost exactly five years ago, during my freshman year in high school. It's gone through one revision of chapter 1-11 and one rewrite of chapters 1-13. This is the only chaptered story that I've completed, unless you count my first fanfiction, a truly horrific five-chaptered Ron/Hermione story that, despite the number of chapters, was only about 2000 words long. Thanks to those of you who've been here with me since the beginning, and those of you who read near the end. I hope you enjoyed my story : )

I'm sort of working on another K/D chaptered story, but a) I'm going to work up a buffer of chapters before I post anything this time and b) I don't have a lot of time. I'm taking 17 hours this semester, and 17 hours of engineering-level classes is really effing hard. I hope to begin posting it sometime in March or April, but I guess we'll see... so put me on author alert if you want to read it : |

Also, **review**, please.

~Annmarie


	21. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

**One Year Later**

"Have you seen Neal today?" Domitan of Masbolle asked his friend, scowling slightly. She smiled at him.

"He didn't spend the night _in_ _town_," Kel said, "if that's what you're worried about. I think we've mostly weaned him off of those… um, women."

Dom shrugged and returned her smile. "Well, where is he, then?" he asked, moving to sit on the bench beside her. Once, he would have allowed her more personal space; now, he sat so that their hips were just barely brushing. If Kel shivered slightly at the contact, he made no mention of it.

"He and Tenagi were studying something in the library, and he fell asleep in there. I ran into him as he was heading back to his chambers this morning."

"So they slept in the library?" Dom asked, wiggling his eyebrows slightly and allowing his disbelief to seep into his voice. Kel looked for a moment as if she might giggle, but managed to rein it in. Her smile turned into a slightly mischievous grin.

"And what business of yours would it be if they were doing more than 'sleeping in the library,' Dom?"

He shrugged. "Just wanted to check up on my Meathead cousin is all," he responded easily.

Kel sighed, immediately more serious. "Even I can see that she's in love with him, but she's not a fool, Dom. She knows he still feels for Yuki. Tenagi and I are not friends, so I don't know much beyond that, but I think she will wait until he's ready."

Dom frowned. "He might never be ready, Kel."

"I know."

They sat in somber but not uncomfortable silence for several moments.

"Say, Kel," Dom leaned over so that their shoulders, and not merely their hips, were brushing. Kel looked up at him, fighting to keep from blushing. A year had passed since she had realized her feelings for Dom went beyond a mere crush, and six months since she had finally forced herself to admit that it might be… you know, that thing… _love._

And… he was far too close to her face.

_Close enough to kiss._

Dom began talking again, and Kel forced herself to pay attention to what he was saying and not the particularly mesmerizing motion of his lips.

"—for you," he finished, and then he looked at her with the strangest expression on her face. This time Kel could not stop herself; she turned cherry red.

"I'm sorry, I, I wasn't paying attention. Could you, um, repeat that?" She forced herself to stop speaking before she _really_ started babbling.

Dom looked a little red himself, and suddenly rather terrified.

"I… I was saying… I wondered if I could stop waiting…" Dom shook his head, seemingly unable to continue, and stared at her for a second. Seated, his eyes were only an inch or so higher than her own. Suddenly something hardened in those lovely blue eyes, and he leaned forward.

_Close enough to kiss._

And then closer, and closer, and Kel was pretty sure that the strain of knighthood had finally driven her mad—_maybe they were right, women weren't meant to be knights, look how crazy I've gone_—because Dom was kissing her.

He sat back, looking painfully uncertain. It only took a moment for Kel to gather herself. There were a thousand things she thought she should say—she should ask how long, was he sure, did he love her or just want to sleep with her, did he—but instead, she closed the gap once again and returned his kiss.

* * *

Kel woke to warm arms that, though she had been held by them only once before, were familiar. She smiled and rolled over to meet a pair of blue eyes.

He smiled back.

"I love you," he said, finally. "I was trying to tell you yesterday, but—"

She shook her head, her smile widening. "I think you got your point across."

He grimaced slightly, but jokingly. "Well, after thinking about different scenarios on how that particular confession scene would go for six years, it was a dismal failure."

"So you're lying in my bed, telling me that your confession was a failure," she asked, carefully keeping her face straight as she raised an eyebrow at him.

"Um, no, that is, it just didn't go how I pictured…" Dom rushed to reassure her, and she was unable to hold the straight face. She laughed. He gave her a slightly sulky look in return.

She reached up to cup his cheek in a hand that had never seemed so small before.

"I didn't think you would ever care for me," she confessed, and she knew her expression was serious. She tried to smile to lighten the mood, but failed. "You always seemed to go after the pretty girls, even in Carthak. I realized… I thought it was just a crush, for all those years, and—" suddenly, Kel was struck by something he had said earlier—"did you say six _years?_ " She demanded, astonished and certain she must have heard wrong. Dom had the grace to look slightly embarrassed.

"Well… yes. But you were sixteen and still a squire, so I didn't think it would be entirely appropriate. It started after I saw you with those fans, the sharp ones, on Progress once. You were as graceful as any of the Yamani ladies, and I hadn't really been thinking you of a girl, but as soon as I did…" he shrugged, still a little red, "Sorry, I'm not very good at this. I didn't last very long after that… by the time Progress finished, I was in love with you. I was going to tell you then, but I found out you were seeing that _boy,_ and it didn't seem right."

Kel stared at him, feeling slightly startled. She had had a crush on him for longer than he'd thought of her as a girl, but she was pretty sure being in love with her without saying anything for _six years_ trumped that.

She shifted so that she lay in a position that was more comfortable, and met his eyes as he began speaking again.

"I was going to start seeing other women, but then we left for the war, and women were in rather short supply. And then you did the most idiotic thing you possibly could have thought up, and ran off to Scanra on a fool's mission—yes, I know," he said, waving her off and she opened her mouth to protest—"you wouldn't be you if you hadn't gone. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about going alone. I got lucky, and Lord Raoul sent us out after you. And then we were in Galla, and I wanted to say something then, but…" he shook his head. "Obviously, I didn't. And you went all lady-like in the stupidest ways while we were in Carthak and I hated it so I acted like a jerk… and… and now I'm babbling, sorry," Dom hung his head, causing Kel to grin once again. She shoved him lightly in the chest, causing him to fall back onto the bed and meet her eyes again.

"Well, I'm afraid I can't top a story of long-unrequited love, but I have had a crush on you ever since you handed me that turnover on my first day with the Own." Dom's eyes widened. "I had to make myself stop while I was with Cleon, and… well, I don't know how long it was something more than a crush, but I realized it the day that… King Jonathan died." Dom nodded for her to continue, openly fascinated by what she was saying. "When, um, when we slept together." She was pretty sure that her face was flaming red again, which Dom seemed to find strangely amusing. "So… I knew I felt something more than a crush for you then, but I pushed it away because I didn't think you would ever feel the same way." When Dom began to protest, she shoved a finger into his chest once again. "And you can't blame me. Whatever your reason was, you _did_ basically say that I was hideous while we were in Carthak. I finally had to admit how I felt six months ago, at Midwinter. I saw you leave with a rider girl, and I thought…" she trailed off. Dom was looking at her with a soft expression in his eyes. She lowered her eyes.

"Miri is just an acquaintance. She had too much to drink, and I promised to help her to her quarters. And I think you're beautiful, but you looked awful in that face paint and with a corset cinched so tight it was a miracle you could breathe. It looked horrible."

Kel nodded, still not quite looking at him. Dom put a finger beneath her chin and lifted her face until her eyes met his.

"Kel… you said you had to admit how you felt about me. How _do_ you feel?" As this seemed to be particularly important to him, Kel answered truthfully instead of trying to brush it off with a joke.

"I love you."

He smiled at her, his eyes practically glowing with joy—Kel was forced to reconsider that maybe the bards' descriptions of people in love wasn't so overdramatic, after all—and leaned down to kiss her again.

* * *

**A/N: And so ends the most awkward confession scene ever XD But fluffy nonetheless, I think. Besides, I suspect that most real confessions of love are a little awkward. Happy, but a little awkward. My first one certainly was : /**

**Happy Valentine's Day to you all : ) I tend to have slightly horrific bad luck on this particular holiday (like car accidents and large objects falling on me and, once, an entire swarm of bees...), so I am barricaded in my room, but I hope that you all have an excellent day! Please review? * puppy dog eyes ***

**I'm kinda of disappointed, because I really wanted to work the following dialogue in, but couldn't.**

"_You know, there was a time when I thought you were in love with the meathead, because he seemed to be all you talked about."_

_Kel grimaced, and perhaps blushed a little. If Dom noticed, he knew better than to comment on it._

"_Well… it was a good conversation starter. I liked talking to you," she hedged. Dom grinned._

"_Oh,_ I see_." She scowled at him and whapped him with her pillow._

**/End Scene.**

**Guess we can't have everything. This epilogue is, without question, my favorite part of the entire story. Who says I can't write romance? (And if you review saying that I can't, I will… not give you cookies. So there.)**

**And once again… I really can't believe this story is over. I honestly didn't think it would ever be completed. Please ****review **** for cookies :p I only got two reviews for the last chapter : (**

**~Annmarie**


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